dream into change

Interview: Mike Farmer and his Living End Saloon vegan pub dream

Leave a Comment / Animal rights, Inspiring stories of the week, Interviews, Music, Uncategorized, Veganism / By Maren / April 7, 2015 April 6, 2015

I met Mike Farmer about fifteen years ago. A friend of a high school classmate of mine, we first connected over our shared geeky love of progressive rock music. (Mike was even in a prog band at the time!)

Over the years, from a distance of 3,000 miles, I observed as he met and fell in love with his partner Marya, bought a house in Washington, DC, and, eventually, went both vegan and car free.

Since then, we have played “vegan tour guide” in each other’s cities, and stayed in touch online. I have also enjoyed following his travel blog Adventures in Veganism.

A few years ago, Mike told me he was starting to dream up a vegan bar in DC. I loved the idea! I knew how much he loved vegan food and various libations (always carefully paired) and as DC’s vegan restaurant offerings slowly increased, I thought his idea of a punk dive bar with international cuisine sounded like a perfect complement to the other options available.

Fast forward to now: It’s happening! He has just launched a crowdfunding effort on Indiegogo to kick-start the business. I strongly encourage you to watch his promotional video and consider contributing to the effort… and in the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy this interview he granted me, talking in depth about his motivations, plans, hopes, and fears as a culture-shifting entrepreneur:

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Mike and the Vegan Black Metal Chef at the Indiegogo kickoff party

When, and how, did the idea to open this pub come to you?

The idea came to me about five years ago. I hung out in a vegan friendly dark dungeony bar in Adams Morgan, Washington DC, called Asylum. On their buy-one-get-one-half-off Tuesdays I’d get up to six plates of their vegan wings while listening to punk and watching skateboarding or surfing videos on Fuel TV (I neither skateboard or surf, but I loved it). I was in heaven.  Also, I traveled the planet quite a bit, and have always loved trying the local cuisine. Since becoming vegan, I’ve been able to veganize many of my favorite international dishes, as well as having perfected my tofu scramble recipe over a period of about nine years.  Then I thought, What if I created a bar that had a fun gothic feel to it, similar to Asylum, but was completely vegan? I could serve international pub comfort food that I’d experienced around the world, veganized, plus a fantastic brunch. I hate to sound like the person who feels so accomplished after making one good meal that they decide to open a restaurant, which is sort of how it is with me, but I’m also on a mission.  At the end of the day, I want to build the sort of place where I would want to go, and hope everyone else will, too. I’ll add that, sadly, Asylum closed and reopened as a barbecue place, but at least I was able to buy a bunch of Asylum’s old decor.  When people get bit by the vegan bug, they just want to go out and change the world, and this is how I want to do it.

What aspects of your life shifted to enable you to pursue it now, after several years of dreaming about it?

I work in IT by day and a bartender by night, which has allowed me to save a good chunk of money thus far. But it’s not enough. So I’m doing a crowdfunding campaign now. I have many locations in mind, but most getting rented before I’ve managed to save enough money to have a shot at it. As well, property prices are rising so quickly that I may very well be priced out of the market before opening anywhere here in Washington DC, so I need to do this soon.  Also, I can keep working away at saving for it, keeping all my ideas in my head, and dreaming about it forever, but it’s never going to get done that way. Ready or not, I’m now starting to take the larger steps I need to in order to make this a reality. It’s time to hit the power button.

Obviously you’re just at the beginning stage now, with the crowdfunding campaign just starting. But what obstacles have you had to overcome already?

All obstacles thus far have been internal. I’m scared, I’m out of my element, I have so little knowledge of this industry. I sometimes feel trapped not knowing how to even begin. But I really want to do something meaningful with my life, and I’m pressing on. I keep reminding myself of the phrase: “Nothing ventured…” If I may offer some words of encouragement to anyone reading this: It’s scary and complicated at first, but take the first step. You may soon realize that what you were fearing isn’t nearly as dreadful or difficult as you thought.

What further challenges do you foresee in the year ahead?

Once open, I will be the owner, manager, bartender, barback, repairman, dishwasher, conflict resolver, accountant, inventory clerk, and other duties assigned. It’s a very unglamorous job, but I know it will have great rewards.

What is your dream for this pub? What sorts of impacts do you hope to have, on your city, on veganism in general, and/or on any other population?

My goal is to help save animals, save the environment, and save my neighbors who are suffering from diabetes, cancer, and other diseases whose condition can be improved by diet.  One thing I really want to do is to work with local food assistance organizations and invite their clients to PCRM (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine) Food for Life classes at the bar when not open for business during the weekday. The classes teach how to cook delicious and affordable nutritious meals. A friend of mine is certified to teach these classes, and he seems on board with the idea, too. In these classes I’d also like to provide info about how our local farmers markets double the value of some food assistance vouchers. Imagine the win for the farmers, the customer, the animals, the environment, not to mention our healthcare system.  Also, I hope my place will be a gathering place. I want justice focused non-profits to hold their events there in the hopes that they will understand the intersection of the justice they’re seeking and the animal, environmental, and food justice The Living End is focused on.

When did you go vegan? What inspired you to do so?

The first spark came when I adopted my cat Burbank in 1998. I began questioning having a companion animal while eating others, so I wanted to start reducing the amount of animals I consumed. My now ex-wife and ex-girlfriend were not supportive of this at all. Then I met Marya. In 2007, less than two years after meeting, we bought a house together. Within a few days of moving in, she said, “I think we should make our house vegetarian.” It was a bit more than what I was aiming for and a bit of a surprise, but after not getting any support from my previous two relationships, I couldn’t refuse.  We still had cheese plates with a bottle of wine several times a week, and once I remembered enjoying it so much I proclaimed loudly “I’m never going vegan!!!” Then… Marya read me aloud a line from Carol Adams’ book “The Sexual Politics of Meat” that tied government control over women’s reproduction with animal agriculture’s control over animals’ reproduction in the production of milk and eggs. As we’re feminists, that really hit us hard.  Then, in summer of 2008, I participated in the Sticky Fingers/Compassion Over Killing Vegan Hot Dog Eating Contest. I was disqualified in the first round, but Compassion Over Killing gave me a bag full of vegan goodies and some pamphlets and magazines. I took them home and read through them, then said “Marya, I think we’re going to have to go vegan.”

Anything else you’d like to mention?

I’ve been working as a defense contractor for 26 years. And, let me tell you, defense contractors get paid rather nicely. If I didn’t care so much about making such a difference in the world, I’d just keep my head down, stay where I am, and watch the world go by. But, as I keep reminding myself: “We’re here for such a short time, how can we not spend it making a difference?”

www.thelivingenddc.com/about/

Interview: Anne Berry and Angela Jacobus, Travel That Matters

Leave a Comment / Eco-volunteerism, Interviews, Travel / By Maren / March 31, 2015 March 30, 2015 / ethical travel, meaningful travel, travel for women

Travel That Matters (tagline: “Be more than a typical tourist”) is a mother-and-daughter-owned company that caters to adventurous women in the United States, aiming to connect them in a meaningful way with nature, local economies, and women in the countries they visit. Founded by duo Anne Berry and Angela Jacobus in 2013, the crew are poised to embark on their second trip to Nicaragua in early April. They have previously led excursions to Bangladesh, Guatemala, Japan, and Thailand.

When I met Anne and Angela recently, I found the idea of their business exciting, and I was also curious about how family dynamics might play out in such a business partnership. I wanted to interview them and share some of their story here because they are a wonderful example of people following their dreams, living beyond the mainstream, and helping to create meaningful experiences for both their clients and the women in the countries they visit.

When did you two birth this dream? Which of you thought of it first, and did you have to convince the other of it?

It sort of happened organically about a year and a half ago. Angela had just returned from living abroad and was brainstorming ways to turn her passion for travel into a career as well as help women get out there in the world and travel … but she wasn’t sure what that would look like. Anne was getting bored in retirement and wanted to facilitate retreats in Nicaragua. The more we talked, the more we realized we could turn our shared interests and passion for travel into a business together.

What had been your work or career backgrounds prior to starting this venture?

Angela spent 12 years in the traditional business world as an editor (marketing, not publishing). She escaped her cubicle in 2005 and made her living as a snowboard instructor/freelance writer/boutique hotel office manager for a few years. Later, she moved overseas to teach English where she spent two years in South Korea and one year in Bangladesh. After Bangladesh, she spent a few more months traveling and then decided to settle back in the States and start Travel That Matters.

Anne’s work background includes a variety of careers, including ballet teacher, closet designer, Defense Department contract administrator, County Government contracts officer and independent corporate trainer. While working as a corporate trainer, she logged one million airline miles.

After you thought of the idea, what fears or other internal stumbling blocks came up for you? How did you overcome them?

New ones come up every day! Haha! But they’re the typical ones for entrepreneurs, I think. Questions like … What if this doesn’t work? How will I pay the bills? I don’t know enough about running my own business to be successful. There’s so much I don’t know! I should have started this a long time ago. How will we find clients? I’m not a sales person. How will I sell my service? I don’t have enough experience with this or that, etc., etc., etc.

We have gotten support. We have supported each other. We have committed ourselves to this endeavor. We think about the alternative, which would be to NOT follow our dreams.

What about external obstacles? What have been some of your biggest logistical or business challenges?

The lead time and connections and effort that are required to create our type of travel experiences is pretty intense. We have had to adjust our expectations and be patient and have faith and figure out how to keep surviving and thriving while the business slowly progresses.

What do you enjoy most about working together, as a mother-daughter team?

This experience is allowing us to learn how to communicate differently … as professional partners … which, in turn, reveals a lot about our deep-seated personality traits and patterns. It can be challenging, to say the least, but it’s quite enlightening and interesting. The best part, though, is having a business partner you can completely trust. How lucky are we?!

What has been the biggest challenge in working together as such a team?

The communication challenges (see above).

What has been a high point, thus far, in this venture?

Whenever we meet women and tell them about what we’re doing and they light up. When we see that they “get” us and they’re genuinely excited about this type of travel. Those moments when you KNOW you’re on the right path.

What are some of your ongoing dreams or plans for the business?

We want to expand our connections and relationships and add a variety of locations, both around the globe and closer to home. We also want to keep finding inspiring organizations we can support with our trips. One day, we’ll have a whole big team and a full list of adventures and a long line of women who are ready to get out in the world and EXPERIENCE it in a meaningful way.

I wish Angela and Anne the best of success! To learn more about their company, their story, or their upcoming journeys (or if you have any ideas or resources to help them!) please visit www.travelthatmatters.net

Successful campaign: Amtrak to offer vegan meals on the dining car!

72 Comments / Animal rights, Nonviolent Communication, Sustainable Transportation, Travel, Veganism / By Maren / March 24, 2015 July 23, 2015 / Amtrak, train, vegan

Well, we did it!! Yesterday, I spoke on the phone with Tom Hall, Amtrak’s VP of Customer Service, and Gary Gunderson, head of their Food and Beverage Services department. Mr. Hall had received helpful letters from a number of you, and was willing to commit to adding vegan menu options to all dining cars in their next menu-change cycle. Their Culinary Advisory Team meets once a year, in October, and develops the two menus for the next year: one spring/summer menu and one fall/winter menu, and this coming October they will be sure to add vegan options for next year.

Here is an excerpt from the follow-up email I received from Mr. Hall after our phone call:

“As I outlined, our immediate plans to improve our vegan offerings are to introduce the Vegan Burger on our Long Distance Dining Menus in our next menu change. This has been a successful item in our lounge/café service and should transition well to the dining car. In addition our spring/summer dining car menu change will include an Entrée Salad that will allow the meat and cheese to be ordered separately which in turn will make the base salad vegan compliant and a much heartier portion than our current side salad. We will continue to search out new options for our dinner service offering. As I committed, we will be tasking several of our Amtrak Culinary Advisory Team (ACAT) members with developing vegan dinner options at our upcoming fall ideation session. Any new items designed in the course of that event will be introduced with our spring/summer 2016 dining car menu. As we discussed it would be extremely helpful if you were to forward me some of your suggested items which I will pass on to the culinary team. We will certainly be looking at how we can leverage the vegan offerings as “Healthy Options” as you suggested, the Healthy Option category that we currently offer has been favorably received and fairly successful.”

So, if any of you have further ideas for menu items that would be easy to prepare and store in their small kitchen spaces on board the trains, please feel free to contact me (maren@dreamintochange.com) and I will pass them along. A couple of logistical things to keep in mind, if you do want to make such suggestions:

*Items should not need to be fried, because each car has only one surface for frying, and they want to be respectful by not potentially “contaminating” vegan food items by cooking them on the same surface with meat.

*Anything that would appeal equally to non-vegans and vegans alike would be great; in the past, the vegan options they tried were not ordered enough to avoid spoilage. Potential for spoilage must be kept to a minimum in order for these new menu options to succeed.

Thanks again to all of you who followed this campaign, signed the petition, shared it via social media, and/or wrote personal letters to Amtrak staff offering encouragement and support. We approached this campaign in a persistent, positive, respectful, and collaborative way, and I am absolutely thrilled about this outcome. And, I’m already dreaming up some trips to take on the train next year!

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Amtrak petition update

13 Comments / Uncategorized / By Maren / March 9, 2015 March 8, 2015

Well, I had hoped for a quick and easy victory. To gather 15,000 signatures from around the nation and the world, to present them to Amtrak’s CEO, and to be told, “Yes! We have heard you, and we will commit to carrying vegan meals on board all long-distance Amtrak trains, no later than the end of 2015.”

It would have been so awesome!

That’s not how things have unfolded thus far. But the campaign continues, and I’m seeking your help.

First, a campaign status update:

On February 12^th, my Change.org petition hit 15,000 signatures. I was ecstatic at the response, and at that milestone I decided it was time to “present” the signatures to Amtrak’s CEO, Joseph Boardman. On February 16^th, I sent him the following email:

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Dear Mr. Boardman,

I love to ride the train! I have taken short trips in the NW corridor on the Cascades, and I’ve also taken three long-distance journeys in the past 15 years, one on the Empire Builder and two on the Coast Starlight. I appreciate rail travel for many reasons, and I would love to see Amtrak thrive into the future.

I’m writing to you today with a request. Perhaps, by now, you have seen the petition I started on Change.org, about three weeks ago: www.change.org/p/joseph-boardman-offer-vegan-meals-on-the-standard-dining-car-menu Since then, more than 15,000 people have signed, from all across the USA. (Even some international Amtrak riders have signed.)

We would all like to see vegan meals (strict vegetarian: no animal products) offered on the standard dining-car menu of all Amtrak trains. We appreciate the vegan offerings in the lounge car (notably the packaged vegan burger) but the dining car is an important part of long-distance train travel, and many of us have had trouble trying to order our meals 72 hours in advance. If you could offer a vegan entrée option on the standard menu for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you would help many vegans—and others with dairy allergies or other dietary restrictions—to enjoy and choose rail travel that much more. Further, as many of the petition’s hundreds of comments show, many non-vegans would like to have this option available as well. (I’m pasting below a few of the comments; you can view them all on the Change.org site.)

I applaud your efforts to reach out to a new, younger demographic by increasing your Facebook and Instagram presence, offering the Amtrak residency, and other initiatives. Updating your menu to appeal to this demographic would give you another great opportunity for positive media coverage and increased ridership.

I request that you make this update to the menu no later than the end of 2015. (Of course, sooner would be better!)

I hope to hear back from you within the next few days, and I look forward to sharing your response with everyone who has signed on to this request.

Thank you for your time! I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Maren Souders

Portland, Oregon

A few selected comments:

Shawn Gould, Santa Cruz, CA: “I don’t want train travel to become extinct. It needs to stay current. Offering vegan options is one way to show the public you care about their needs and train travel belongs in the 21st Century.”

Amy Shields, Birmingham, AL: “I often travel with vegan and vegetarian friends and family members, and I know how frustrating it can be to try to get a decent meal away from home. People who choose not to eat meat or other animal products for any reason – health, religion, ethics, etc. – would greatly benefit from expanded menu options.”

Joyce Fineout, Fairview, OR: “We, love, Love, LOVE the train! But we also love the benefits that a vegan diet brings to ourselves and to animals! Please, help us balance our love of train-travel AND our compassionate lifestyle! Make vegan meals a regular part of the travel experience of all of us! Thank you!”

Amber Kerr, Mountain View, CA: “Vegan meals aren’t just for vegans. They can also be beneficial for people who have other dietary restrictions (such as keeping kosher or halal; lactose intolerance; or food allergies). They also can, and should, be a part of every American’s diet at least sometimes – vegan meals are often healthier and better for the environment. And they certainly do not need to be more expensive or less appealing than the other meals on the menu. Adding vegan meal options makes good business sense as well as being a matter of fairness and accessibility. I am a frequent Amtrak rider (on the Capital Corridor line to Sacramento), and I often order a meal during my three-hour trip from San Jose. I would certainly order a vegan meal if one was available.”

—

On February 19^th, I received the following response from Amtrak’s VP of Customer Service, Thomas Hall:

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Dear Ms. Souders:

Thank you for your email correspondence to Mr. Joseph H. Boardman, President and Chief Executive Officer of Amtrak. Mr. Boardman has asked me to respond on behalf of the Corporation.

As the Vice President of Customer Service, my department is responsible for Amtrak’s Food and Beverage program, and I appreciate you contacting us regarding the availability of vegan meals on our trains. We have been hard at work on our special meal programs. I’m sure that you will be interested to know that we do currently offer vegan compliant meals on our long distance diners and Acela Express First Class services. We have, in the past, offered vegan meal options on our regular menu without a special request (as we do with vegetarian meals). Unfortunately, the customer response was quite low and resulted in excessive spoilage which drove our expenses unacceptably high. In an effort to control expenses, we have included the vegan options in our special request program and they are readily available with the normal 72 hour advance notification. Passengers can make a vegan meal request at the time of booking by calling our reservation number, 800-USA-RAIL (800-872-7245), which is available 24 hours/7 days per week.

As information, our current vegan offerings include the following options:

Dining Car

Breakfast- (Advance notice not required)

Continental Breakfast

o Cereal w/soy milk

o Fresh fruit

o Grits (prepared with water only)

o Steel Cut Oatmeal served with soy milk or raisins.

Lunch and Dinner-

Garden Salad (Advance notice not required)

o When served with Light Italian or Balsamic Vinaigrette dressings

Garden Vegetable Bean Chili

o This vegan chili combines tomatoes, pinto beans, white beans, onion, carrots, corn, red & green bell peppers, lima beans, zucchini, garlic, scallions, and a blend of spices. Served with Orzo pasta.

Spicy Udon Noodles w/ Coconut Curry Vegetables

o This vegan Asian style pasta uses wheat flour noodles with vegetables (baby corn, snap peas, roasted red pepper strips, broccoli, garlic, and scallions) in a Thai style red chili coconut curry sauce with toasted sesame oil.

Café Car

Vegan Burger
Roasted Red Pepper Hummus w/ Pretzel Crisps
Fruit and Nut Trail Mix

We continually strive to improve our Food and Beverage program and we know this amenity is important to our customers, especially on our long distance service. We are also under enormous pressure from our stakeholders to eliminate the losses associated with food and beverage and must do everything that we can to keep expenses under control. We constantly re-evaluate our programs and will continue to search for alternatives that might allow us to provide vegan choices as regularly available menu items in the future. Customer feedback is very important to us when making decisions regarding the service we offer, and please be assured we have taken your comments and those who signed the petition under serious consideration. Every decision we make is implemented wholly with the purpose of ensuring the financial excellence Amtrak requires to deliver intercity transportation into the future with superior safety, customer service, and efficiency.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to send us your comments and we appreciate your support of Amtrak service.

Sincerely,

Thomas Hall

Vice President Customer Service

—

I appreciated his acknowledgment of the petition—and was interested and concerned to read that they had experimented with on-board vegan options in the past—but I was not satisfied with the lack of acknowledgment of the current difficulty in ordering ahead, nor with the lack of a commitment to making a change within the timeline of this calendar year. So, on February 23^rd, I replied with the following:

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Dear Mr. Hall,

Thank you so much for your prompt and detailed reply to my email. I know you are very busy, and I appreciate the time and consideration you took to reply.

I can certainly appreciate the various pressures–financial and logistical, and probably others–under which Amtrak operates, particularly in regards to food service. I am very willing–and excited–to do everything I can to help reach a win-win situation for both vegans (and others with dietary restrictions) and Amtrak’s bottom line and smooth operating procedures.

I was not aware that you had tried offering vegan meals on the standard dining car menu in the past. I’m very surprised to learn that the demand was lower than it apparently is for the current non-vegan vegetarian items on the menu. I wonder if perhaps the particular offerings were not as popular as alternative vegan offerings might have been… and also whether enough time has elapsed since that trial period that a significantly higher percentage of travelers might now be interested. (The popularity of the Change.org petition, as well as my anecdotal personal experiences and discussions with others, suggest to me that it’s likely that would be the case.)

My problem–and that of a number of others who commented on the petition–with the 72-hour request protocol is twofold: 1) It is inconvenient, because sometimes people plan trips less than 72 hours ahead, and even when they do, they may not remember, or realize, that they need to make a special meal request in order to have vegan options in the dining car. At this point in the restaurant industry, many diners expect that vegan options will be available without making special arrangements, so they may not think to do so. 2) In my own most recent experience–and that of several others I have spoken with–I did make the appropriate request at least 72 hours in advance, but the meals were not on board when I arrived. (In my particular case, this was apparently because of some sort of logistical problem with that train or its tracks, such that the train had not made the planned commissary stop. However, I received no notification of this, so I was quite disappointed to discover, upon arriving in the dining car for my first of three meals, that I would need to order side salads and baked potatoes in lieu of the chili and pasta I had anticipated.)

I would love to continue this discussion, either by email or (preferably) by phone, so that we can generate some win-win possibilities for action. I am more than happy to do any legwork I can; I am well connected to many vegan communities, and would be happy to research food-service options or seek out others who might be willing to offer cost-effective, or even pro-bono, consulting to Amtrak in order to update the menu offerings. I really want to reach an outcome that will work for everyone!

Thank you for your consideration. If you are willing to talk by phone at some point, please let me know your availability, or feel free to simply call me at [my personal phone number].

~Maren

—

It is now March 8^th. I have not received a reply.

I am not giving up on this campaign, because I care deeply about animal rights, and I believe that vegan options should be readily available on all Amtrak trains.

However, I can also empathize with the plight of Amtrak as an institution, and the position of Mr. Hall as an employee. They are both under tremendous pressures, both to simply keep Amtrak alive (ever since its inception in 1971, there have been continual Congressional efforts to defund it out of existence) and to run it in a fiscally responsible and logistically smooth way.

I am quite certain there is a way to meet all of our needs here.

I am turning to one of my favorite tools—Nonviolent Communication (NVC)—as I brainstorm the next step in this effort. One of the foundational NVC principles is that we all have common human needs, and that in any conflict or challenging situation, it is possible to find a solution that meets everyone’s needs, if we all pay close attention to what those needs are.

So, I pulled out my handy-dandy set of Grok feelings & needs cards, and wrote down all the needs I could think of, for four parties:

Myself
Vegans in general (as well as vegan supporters and other plant-based dieters)
Amtrak as an institution
Mr. Hall individually

I noticed that there were three needs that seemed to be shared by all four parties:

*Consideration

*Ease

*Help & support

Other needs for Amtrak and/or Mr. Hall:

Balance, appreciation, acknowledgment, to have one’s intentions seen, structure, security, understanding, respect, to be heard, and—perhaps most importantly—efficiency.

Other needs for vegans and/or me personally:

Integrity, equality, health, hope, inclusion, respect, to be heard, dependability, compassion & empathy, contribution, meaning & purpose.

So! My question—for myself, and to all of you—is, How do we proceed, recognizing all those needs?

I have considered a few strategies:

*Seeking more petition signatures

*Personally sending more emails, or making phone calls, myself

*Encouraging petition supporters to contact Amtrak reps directly (hallt@amtrak.com, joseph.boardman@amtrak.com; needless to say, please be respectful and polite if you choose to contact them this way)

*Seeking media attention, either in vegan publications and/or mainstream media

*Seeking out people, committed to the cause, who could offer direct logistical help to Amtrak employees and decision makers in implementing these new meal plans.

I think all of these could be useful strategies (particularly the last three) and I am in the process of determining which might be the most effective—and efficient—uses of my time and energy. I am open to input as I move forward; I wish for this to be a community effort.

So I ask you, dear reader: What strategies would you prioritize? And/or, is there some way you are personally willing to get involved? Do you know someone I should contact?

Let’s get this done!!

Mourning and Celebrating Marshall Rosenberg

2 Comments / Uncategorized / By Maren / February 11, 2015 February 12, 2015

Yesterday, I was saddened to learn of the death of someone I have admired and respected tremendously. Marshall Rosenberg lost his battle with prostate cancer on February 7^th, at age 80. I feel confident in saying that his loss is felt around the globe.

Marshall created a process he called Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in the 1960s. Over the next several decades, he spread the word about it by writing books, recording audio and video tutorials, and giving his humorous and transformative interactive lecture in person on multiple worldwide tours.

He also used the process of NVC directly, for self-growth and conflict resolution. He worked in prisons, facilitating dialogues between willing victims and offenders. He facilitated conflict resolutions in the Middle East between Israelis and Palestinians. He worked with members of warring tribes in Nigeria, again facilitating healing dialogues. He worked with “high-risk” high school students in the USA.

The number of lives he touched, and hearts and minds he inspired, is truly countless.

I was introduced to his work in April of 2002, here in Portland, Oregon. The nation was reeling from the events of 9/11. I was perusing the local alternative weekly paper, and my eye caught a small ad containing the quote, “Every judgment is a tragic expression of an unmet need.” That sentiment both jarred me and resonated to my core. I knew I had to attend the lecture it advertised.

My friend Michelle and I went to the lecture, and we both walked out with our minds transformed. Neither of us has ever been the same. We quickly read his seminal book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, and then we began to co-host a weekly practice group based on the book. When that practice group came to an end, Michelle and I decided to carry the principles of NVC forward in our personal relationship explicitly, by meeting regularly in a format where one of us would talk about the ups and downs of our week, while the other would listen empathically. These get-togethers were tangibly richer than other “hang-out” times I had with other friends. We each felt truly heard, and our friendship deepened. More than ten years hence, we still meet regularly—now by Skype, since we are separated by distance—and we follow the same format. Our friendship has remained deep and rich.

Later, my commitment to NVC principles led me to start up my Happy to Listen practice, embark on an East Coast Empathy Tour, and volunteer in a maximum-security prison, helping to teach NVC skills to violent offenders. All of these have been among the most meaningful activities I have undertaken in my life thus far.

If you are unfamiliar with NVC, I humbly encourage you to read Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (almost certainly available at your local library, but also worth purchasing as a reference and/or to share with friends) or to take a look at some of Marshall’s videos or peruse the offerings at the Center for Nonviolent Communication.

Thank you, Marshall, for the gifts you have shared with us all. Please know that your work will continue, through all of us you have inspired.

My interview on The Sprocket Podcast

Leave a Comment / Interviews, Sustainable Transportation, Travel, Veganism / By Maren / February 5, 2015 February 4, 2015

This past Tuesday, I was honored and delighted to be interviewed by Brock Dittus and Aaron Flores of The Sprocket Podcast. This podcast has been running for the past four years, and the current hosts interview a variety of people who do various things that exemplify their tagline of “Simplifying the Good Life.” In my case, we discussed my East Coast Empathy Tour, my perspective on being a “professional listener,” my recent (and ongoing) petition to Amtrak to offer vegan meal options onboard, and various local sustainable-transportation history and miscellany. Take a listen here!

Taking positive action for something I believe in

Leave a Comment / Animal rights, Travel, Veganism / By Maren / January 24, 2015 January 23, 2015

Yesterday I wrote about my trip to San Diego, and how much I love taking the train. I do indeed love it, and I loved the trip. (And I’m having a great time here in California so far!)

One thing that bothered me, though, was the lack of vegan options in the Amtrak Coast Starlight’s dining car. (You may recall that I have had this problem before.) Amtrak doesn’t offer vegan meals on the standard, fixed menu in their dining car. They do, theoretically, offer them by special order, as long as you place the order at least 72 hours in advance of your travel date. (This is because the meals are not prepared on the train; they are prepared and packaged elsewhere, and placed on the train at scheduled commissary stops in large cities.) This time, I planned ahead to do so, and the woman who took my reservation over the phone assured me that I would receive either pasta or chili for each of my three scheduled meals. (Including breakfast, though I thought those two were rather unconventional choices for a morning meal.)

When I arrived in the dining car for my first meal at dinner, though, the attendant once again told me they had no record of my request, and no vegan meals on board. I ended up eating side salads and baked potatoes for the remainder of the trip.

I was disappointed and frustrated, but I wanted to take that energy and turn it into something positive rather than simply stewing in it. So, I decided to start a petition on Change.org:

https://www.change.org/p/amtrak-offer-vegan-meals-on-the-standard-dining-car-menu

Here is the text of the petition:

More and more Americans are choosing a vegan lifestyle, for ethical, environmental, and/or health reasons. Amtrak can better welcome this growing segment of society onboard, making vegan meals easy for passengers and staff alike, by changing their on-board menu.

As it stands now, long-distance train passengers must pre-order vegan meals 72 hours in advance, so that the train staff can pick up the pre-made meals at scheduled commissary stops in large cities. On both of the two long train trips I have taken in the past two years, however, the meals I ordered never made it onto the trains, so I ended up eating side salads and baked potatoes for several days.

The dining car menus currently do include vegetarian options (such as scrambled eggs for breakfast, a veggie burger for lunch, and six-cheese lasagna for dinner). However, all these meatless options still contain animal ingredients, such as eggs or dairy. I am requesting that Amtrak change its fixed menus on all trains that include dining cars, so that at least one all-vegan entree option is available onboard at each meal.

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I would love for you to sign it, and/or share it with friends via Facebook or email, if this is something you support.

I’m also curious, though, to hear if any of you have found a way to turn a frustration or stumbling block into an empowering opportunity for activism. If so, please share your story in the comments!

Waking up to palm trees

Leave a Comment / Animal rights, Life coaching for a better world, Sustainable Transportation, Travel, Uncategorized, Veganism / By Maren / January 23, 2015 January 23, 2015

This winter I’ve been battling a mild depression. (You, too? Seems like it’s been going around.) Somehow in the fall, my mojo started to falter. I think it all started in late September, when my partner experienced some serious setbacks in his efforts toward self-growth and serving his community. I did my best to support him through circumstances outside of his control, but I was disheartened to witness the way things unfolded and seemed to compound over time.

Meanwhile, I was struggling in my own practice. I hit a slump, where new clients were few and far between, and my energy dragged when I thought about taking the actions I would need to turn things around.

My social life slowed down, too. I had been so overwhelmed with social commitments in the summer and early fall that I told myself I needed to slow down, and take more alone time. But when I did that, it also contributed to a feeling of loneliness. I wanted more connection, more nurturing touch, more of the emotional and mental synergy that comes from connecting with others.

And, since I live in Portland, the weather got colder and rainier with each passing week. And darker. (And darker. And darker.)

I found myself struggling to enjoy the life I’ve worked so hard to craft. Each day I would hope things would get easier, or that my spark would return. Each day, those things did not happen. (Instead, I fell into a rut of junk food and zoning out on computer time.)

I know that I am not alone in this. I know that our culture (and climate, for many of us) tends to isolate and depress us. Even (perhaps especially) those of us who are idealists, who want to make each day of our lives meaningful, for ourselves, for our communities, and for the world at large. When we have lofty goals and high ideals, it can be all the more depressing when a day goes by without any “breakthroughs” or exciting progress toward the world we are all working to create. And when a week, or a month, goes by and those things remain scarce, it can become very disheartening.

I thought of writing a blog post, here, to share my struggle and to let anyone reading know that if you’re going through this, you are not alone. And that we all struggle, and we can all get through it. (And, that if you’re going through this and want to talk to a practitioner who can listen and “get it,” without trying to fix the problem or put a Pollyanna-ish life-coach spin on the situation, that I am, as always, Happy to Listen. 🙂 )

But even that seemed a bit too much of a downer for a blog post on a site called Dream Into Change. I wanted to offer some glimmer of hope. But I needed to find it for myself, first.

I had hoped, this winter, to spend a few days in San Diego, which I have done each winter for the past three years. I had intended for it to become an annual tradition, and even to increase to twice per winter or more at some point. I love that hit of sunshine and warmth—and the magic that is Balboa Park—in the middle of the darkness that blankets my otherwise beloved Portland during the cold months.

But this year I was feeling short on money, which only added to my depression. I didn’t think I could justify the trip. And, for that matter, my energy was so low it was even hard to get excited about the prospect of it.

One day, about a week ago, though, I read something online about San Diego, and I felt a pang of wistfulness. I missed that place! Maybe I could just do a web search for flights, and see what it might cost. Couldn’t hurt to look, right?

One thing I am discovering about myself is that once I get the idea of a trip into my head, it is very hard to walk away from it. When I search online and find options that are too expensive and/or inconvenient for me, rather than giving up, I am spurred to think more creatively, to see if there might be a way I could make it work.

In this situation, I discovered that the inexpensive direct flight I had become accustomed to taking had been discontinued. I thought about taking the train, since I vastly prefer it to flying anyway, but dismissed the idea because I didn’t have much time to take for the trip, and the round-trip cost would be prohibitive.

But San Diego had gotten under my skin. I was not willing to give up, once I had decided I wanted to go. I kept looking. I finally realized that I could use some of my carefully saved Amtrak mileage points to take a first-class ride—sleeper compartment and all—down south, and then catch a one-way flight back for only $100. Yes. This would work!! I searched Airbnb, and found an affordable house in the exact area I like to stay, just north of my cherished park. Everything was coming together! Within a couple of days, I had booked the whole trip.

And as I type, I’m sitting in the Amtrak Coast Starlight Sightseer Lounge car, just south of San Jose, looking out the spacious windows at sunshine and Spanish-style architecture. When I awoke this morning, I peered out the window of my berth and saw palm trees.

And I am thrilled to report that my mood has improved about 100%. I look forward to enjoying three days in San Diego, catching up with friends, hitting my favorite vegan restaurants, enjoying some contemplation in the beautiful cactus garden, and taking a break from the bleak. Getting my mojo back!

I would love to hear from any of you, if you have favorite spots to visit, or a spur-of-the-moment trip that lifted your mood, or another “trick” besides travel that snapped you out of a funk… or even just a shared lament if you’re finding yourself in a dark place at the moment.

Portland workshop: Effective communication skills for vegans & vegetarians

2 Comments / Animal rights, Life coaching for a better world, Nonviolent Communication, Uncategorized, Veganism, Workshops / By Maren / November 17, 2014 November 17, 2014 / holiday meal, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Portland, vegan, vegetarian

The fall and winter holiday season is upon us.

Vegan/vegetarian advocacy (or even simple social “defense”) can be challenging throughout the year. But when turkey and ham dinners with family, friends, or coworkers start happening, it can be especially stressful and frustrating.

Whether you expect to be dodging snide remarks or jokes from relatives around the turkey, or you’d like to talk persuasively about veg*anism to your co-celebrants to encourage others to give it a try, this workshop can help. We’ll be talking about using NonViolent Communication (NVC)* tools to build connection, rather than divisiveness, when talking about these charged topics.

We won’t be talking about fact-based, point-by-point rebuttals to anti-veg*n statements, since there are plenty of online resources for that. We’ll be talking instead about how to get in touch with our own feelings and needs around animal rights, environmental concerns, and/or health, and conveying them–if and when we choose to–in a way that is more likely to encourage openness in our listeners, rather than argument or defensiveness. The goal of the workshop is to increase the potential effectiveness of our persuasive conversations, while also decreasing our risk for the anger, bitterness, depression, and burnout that sometimes go along with living by a certain set of beliefs that many of our loved ones may not share.

The venue is small, so attendance will be capped at six participants. There are two events: November 22 and December 13.

*Disclaimer: I am not a certified NVC instructor. However, I have been involved in studying, using, and facilitating the learning of NVC for the past twelve years, in a variety of online and in-person capacities.

Reconnecting to my Portland roots

2 Comments / Sustainable Transportation, Uncategorized / By Maren / November 13, 2014 November 12, 2014

Lately I have been feeling disconnected. Disconnected from myself, disconnected from my community… and, without realizing it, I think also disconnected from my adopted home.

I was a newcomer here in Portland in 1990. Since then, we have been awash in more and more newcomers every year. I welcome them all. However, I sense that over time, our city’s institutional memory has been growing weaker. People may come here because they have heard the buzz, or they are seeking a young, fun, and creative culture. When they arrive, they may not know how things were around here even as recently as the turn of the millennium (pre-“Portlandia”) much less back into the 1980s, 1970s, or earlier.

I’ve been reading Willamette Week’s 40^th anniversary issue these past few days, and I’m finding it very poignant at this point in my life. Their anniversary issue each year is always the same week as my birthday, which makes it a nice touchstone for me. And, since I just turned 42 this past week, their age is similar to my own. I’ve read their “alternative weekly” religiously since I arrived here (though it gets thinner each year, as print journalism shifts).

What struck me about this 40^th-year special edition was the sense of connection and rootedness it rekindled in me for the hometown I eagerly adopted 24 years ago. Something about this place—its climate, its culture, its populace—stood out to me when I was thinking about where to go to college. I intuited that it would be a good fit for me, and I was right.

When I got here, I wanted to learn about local history, culture, and politics. I immersed myself in those things right away. In 1990, Barbara Roberts was poised to become Oregon’s first female governor. I wished I could vote for her, but my 18^th birthday fell two days after the election. Still, I volunteered for several progressive ballot measures—and against several regressive ones—during that campaign season. My home state of Virginia did not have the initiative process, so it was all new to me. I loved it!

Reading WW’s retrospective helped me to remember some of the culture I stepped into when I arrived. The MAX light-rail line to Gresham had just opened four years earlier. (Now we have a light-rail network throughout the region.) Bud Clark was still the goofy and avant-garde mayor. Lloyd Marbet was working to shut down the nearby Trojan nuclear plant. (I remember the “Leaking Trojans… Cause Accidents” T-shirts.) The city was still reeling from the racially motivated killing of Ethiopian immigrant Mulugeta Seraw. Gus Van Sant was artistically documenting the grit and seediness that still permeated the place, with films like “Drugstore Cowboy” and “My Own Private Idaho.”

In the early to mid-1990s, I experienced firsthand many of the events covered in the story. I remember when the Bicycle Transportation Alliance, for example, successfully campaigned for bike racks on city buses. I remember when US Senator Bob Packwood’s sordid history of sexual harassment became public, disgracing him and ending his political career. I remember when former Oregon governor Neil Goldschmidt, whose progressive policies and strong leadership had cast a long, hopeful shadow across the local culture, similarly fell from grace when his sexually abusive relationship with a teenager, from many years prior, surfaced.

I remember when the City Nightclub—the first all-ages gay dance club in town—was forced to close. My bisexual first boyfriend had regaled me with tales of his experiences there during its heyday, so I had felt some small personal connection to it.

I remember when the Pearl District—which had housed that nightclub—changed from a mostly deserted warehouse area to a bustling example of urban renewal (for better or worse).

I remember when Stumptown Coffee quietly opened on SE Division Street.

And I remember many more things.

Over the years, I have noticed that many of my closest friends—and almost all of my long-term romantic partners—have been Portland natives. They are a rare breed—growing rarer every day—and I think my invisible pull toward them reflects something about my resonance with this place, its culture, and its history. I love all the new energy from all the other newcomers since me… and at the same time, I really appreciate the opportunity this Willamette Week retrospective has afforded me to reminisce, reconnect, and soak in the gratitude for some of the events and people who have shaped this unique city.

I welcome feedback, from Portlanders old and new, as well as people from other places around the world. How has your connection to your own sense of place changed—or stayed the same—over time?