Today feels very different from yesterday. This is the Labor Day weekend in the US: the cultural, if not meteorological, end of summer. People usually spend it outdoors. If you’ve been reading this blog for the past few days, you know that I was outside on my bike on Saturday and Sunday. Today I thought I might take a rest, partly because the weather forecast showed heavy winds, which are almost unheard of at this time of year in Portland. I figured it was some 2020 weirdness, and I was just going to flow with it by staying close to home. Maybe talk to some people about their dreams, and possibly write about that here.

I suppose it was indeed 2020 weirdness. The physical events descended, and then seemed to crescendo, and my emotional response followed. 

In the late afternoon, not only did the winds pick up and lend a surreal feeling to my brief trips to the laundry room and corner store, but the sky filled with smoke from nearby forest fires. The winds carried the particulates quickly. I went inside and made sure my windows were closed, even though it was hot and I would have otherwise appreciated the ventilation. Local friends on Facebook began reporting that the power had gone out in their neighborhoods as a result of downed trees from the wind. The sky darkened; the sun glowed a surreal red; the neighbors who had been out chatting in the back retreated to the safety of their homes.

Scrolling my Facebook feed, I also learned that a group of “Proud Boys”—aggressive white supremacists—had been holding an armed rally today at Oregon’s state capitol building in Salem, 50 miles south of here. A friend of mine posted that she had gone to the capitol as a peaceful counter-protester, and one of the rally’s attendees had snatched the sign out of her hand and pepper-sprayed her in the face when she had been pleading with him not to hit someone else with his baseball bat.

I also read that that same group of Proud Boys had rallied in the sleepy outer Portland suburb of Oregon City, earlier in the day. A different friend posted a testimonial from a local mother in that area who said that her Black son had been repeatedly racially harassed in that town, including by a local police officer who pointed a taser at him. The officer had responded to the call of several bullies who had used racial epithets toward her son, who had been simply minding his own business in his car in a parking lot at the time. As a result of these recent incidents, she felt that her son was unsafe in Oregon City, and they were planning to move.

I had cycled right through Oregon City just yesterday, on the way to that beautiful park in West Linn. I did think briefly of my white privilege at the time, wondering how different it might be for me cycling through small towns if I were not white. And then, today, I read these two stories.

Just a few hours later this evening, another friend posted a story about a 12-acre brush fire that had damaged four buildings in Oregon City tonight. I had biked right past those buildings yesterday, along a beautiful riverfront path. Lots of families were out along the path and on the water for the holiday weekend. It all seemed so calm and pleasant… and now, today, the literal and metaphorical winds have changed, bringing natural disaster and violent racism in their wake.

The juxtapositions are a lot for me to sit with tonight:

Sunday vs. Monday

Pleasant weather vs. fire and smoke

White vs. Black

Safety vs. danger

A lovely, challenging bike ride vs. holing up on the couch, windows closed

There is a context to this dream I’m moving toward. We are living in times that feel apocalyptic, ecologically and socially. Beneath the outward normalcy of bike rides, days in the park, and people going about their business, lurks a palpable, collective sense of fear that the world is starting to burn, literally and figuratively. 

Will this nation even be hospitable enough for me—in a variety of contexts—to see this trip through, a year from now? What will have been destroyed in the intervening time? So much hangs in the balance this coming November, but regardless of who ends up in the White House in January, so many destructive processes are already underway, and building momentum. How will we, collectively, find our way out of the place we now find ourselves? How will we dream into a better future for all of us, and for the planet that sustains us? This is a big part of what I want to do with my time and energy on this planet, however much time and energy I may have left. I want to help us all to dream into the future we want, and to then take the concrete steps to get from here to there.

Do you have ideas? I would love to hear from you, to help you hold the vision and flesh it out if need be. If you’re open to it, I may write about your dreams here. We need to start now.

How are you holding up?

I don’t need to tell anyone reading that this is a time of extreme bleakness for the United States and the world. Living here at the moment (Portland, Oregon, no less) I feel as if our entire human civilization stands at a precipice. We are bombarded at every turn with new horrific headlines about injustice, violence against marginalized communities, a plague that keeps harming and killing, and environmental destruction that seems to accelerate at regular intervals.

It’s hard to keep our emotional selves OK at a time like this.

Without a doubt, it is a time to fight for what we believe in and the world we want to live in. Political and direct actions are crucial, and most people I know are engaged in some combination of in-person protests; phone calls, emails, texts, postcards, and/or petitions to politicians and other decision-makers; donations to activist organizations; boycotts of certain companies and extra efforts to financially support others; and using our social media platforms and conversations with friends and family to talk about our values and how we live them. These actions are crucial. Please, let us all continue to take these actions, from now through November and beyond. As Alice Walker famously said, “Activism is the rent I pay for living on this planet.”

At the same time, I have always been personally inspired by Buckminster Fuller’s quote, “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” While I would argue that the first part is a bit naïve—fighting existing reality is important, especially at times like this—the latter part does really resonate with me, and it feels like a good fit with who I am as a person, and the skills I personally have to bring to the world.

As such, a vision has recently coalesced for me, and I hope you will follow along with me as I work to manifest my own dream in the coming year: taking a year to bicycle around the United States, talking with people about their dreams for themselves and for the greater good.

We need vision. We need vision connected to action. I want to serve as a catalyst for people in this country right now to think about the world they want to live in, and how they would like to contribute to bringing about that world, in concrete ways. I want to offer people emotional and strategic support to help them to bring about their dreams, and I want to network people I meet in my travels, so that they can work together, and we can all be more powerful as a whole than as individuals.

To do this, I would need to step away from my day job—my primary source of income—for at least a year. So, I have launched a Patreon to begin working to replace that income.
I’m hoping you will do a few things for/with me:

1) Take a look at the Patreon, and read my fuller story about my vision there

2) Consider supporting me with a monthly pledge of any amount

3) Consider sharing the Patreon page with like-minded friends or via your social media, to spread the word

4) Think about your own dreams and visions! I may not be able to physically hit the road yet, but we need vision and action now. To anyone reading: I would love to offer you a free (no strings) one-hour phone or video call to talk about your dreams and get you either started or re-energized on bringing them about! (With your permission, I might also blog about some of these dreams, so that others can help to hold the vision and/or offer resources to help.) Message me at maren@dreamintochange.com to schedule a time!

This is our time, people. We need to dream into the world we want to live in, and we need to dedicate our time and energy to bringing it about.

I’m not sure yet what role this blog and the Patreon blog will play in sharing this story as it unfolds. At this point, I will probably share updates on both, so stay tuned. Thank you for your support. May we all bring our dreams into reality!

Let me start by saying that I’m afraid of getting this wrong.  I’m afraid I’m going to say, or do, the wrong thing.  But my Black friends, and folks I follow, are urging us white people to speak anyway.  To do what we can anyway.  To know that yes, we will make mistakes.  We will need to allow ourselves to be corrected, with humility, and then go out and keep risking making more mistakes.  So I’m doing this, and I hope that all of you—especially my fellow white people—will join me by speaking up, in your own ways and in your own spaces.

Racism, and specifically anti-Blackness, is at epidemic proportions right now.  We’re seeing people mobilizing to change this, in many and varied ways, including in-person protests; calling and emailing elected officials; signing petitions; donating to Black-led and Black-justice-focused nonprofits; financially choosing to support Black-owned businesses; talking with friends and family about racism, and gently but firmly speaking up when we hear them making remarks that may in some way uphold white supremacy.

We need to recognize that the United States (and surely other countries as well, but I will speak to my own) was founded and built on white-supremacist beliefs.  And we need to now do everything we can to reverse that.  To dismantle it.  To replace it with a society that truly reflects liberty and justice for all.

I’ve been asking myself in what ways I can best lend my power and privilege to the cause.  So far, I have donated money, signed petitions, emailed decision makers, joined Facebook groups dedicated to unpacking and overturning white supremacy… and I have been making more efforts to speak up, both in person and on social media, when I see and hear statements that uphold white supremacist systems and ways of thinking.  I have also been posting action alerts on social media, encouraging other people to take these actions.

I plan to continue with all of these efforts.

But I also think that my greatest strength as a person, and as a professional, is in my abilities to empathize and to strategize.  I want to bring these skills to the revolution.

So, for the remainder of June, I am doing another sliding-scale, pay-what-you can offer for my empathy and/or strategic planning sessions by phone or video chat.  My normal rate is $95 per hour, but I ask that you pay whatever you are able and willing to pay, and I will donate 20% of June’s proceeds to Black Lives Matter. 

If you are Black, I will offer these services completely free of charge, and I will also donate $20 per session to the organization of your choice (up to $200 total). I recognize and respect that you may not want or trust a white person to hold a safe space for you to express yourself, and I completely accept that.  If you are open to it, I promise that I will listen and hear whatever you say, without any “yes, but” or “well, have you considered…” or similar nonsense.

White people (and non-Black people of color), if you need someone with whom to process your feelings of shock, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, or stuckness, please message me to schedule a time.  I will hold a no-judgment space to help you work through these.  We have all been steeped in a racist society, and we need safe spaces to help us talk about it, unpack it, and begin to move forward.

An hour with me could look like me simply listening to whatever you need to say, holding space and offering minimal feedback.  Or, it could be more of a dialogue if you prefer.  Or, it could be helping you to brainstorm ideas for actions you would like to take.  Regardless, I will listen with respect and care.  And 20% of your sliding-scale payment will go to Black Lives Matter on July 1^st. Message me at maren@dreamintochange.com to schedule a session.

We are in this together, folks.  We can do this.  Let’s be gentle with ourselves, while taking consistent action.  The momentum has begun; let’s see how far we can shift our culture, together.

For some time now, I’ve been thinking I should record some videos for this blog, sharing my perspectives on various topics and hopefully offering some resonance, camaraderie, and support to readers.

I’ve been nervous and shy to put myself out in this way, so I have been procrastinating.  But this surreal time is calling me to stretch myself and try something new.  I hope the following will be the first of many such short videos… yet, as I mention herein, I’m also choosing to be gentle with myself and not make unrealistic commitments.  So, for now I hope you will find something of value and/or resonance here.  Feel free to comment or message me with ideas of topics you might like to see me discuss in future installments.

And, as always, I hope you are taking good care of yourself.