OK, now that my California trip is official (cat sits lined up so far in Emeryville and Fresno) I need to manifest some money for it! After this California journey is complete in late May, I will turn my sights to fundraising for my travels on the rest of the Amtrak network. But I’m getting a “soft start” now, by reminding folks of the services I offer under the umbrella of Dream Into Change. If any of you might find any of the following services helpful, I am offering them on a sliding-scale basis. (My published rate is $95/hr, but I can definitely go lower if you need, and if you have extra money and align with my vision, please feel free to go higher!) Ideally we’d do this in the next 2-3 weeks, at least to start, but while I’m in California in mid-May I expect to also have time to do phone or online work.
I have recently added a new offering: space-holding for tasks! Many people struggle with executive function, making seemingly simple tasks such as cleaning or organizing the house nearly insurmountable, often for weeks or months at a time. I offer a calm and non-judgmental presence–in person or electronically–to help you stay on task and get the work done. (Sometimes this can also double as an empathetic-listening or life-coaching session! Talking or brainstorming while doing physical tasks can lead to a nice flow state and possible breakthroughs.)
I am also offering life and travel coaching (what is your dream? How do you want to move forward in your life and in this world at this moment in history?) as well as “awkward email” or “awkward conversation” coaching, based in Nonviolent Communication (NVC) principles.
Do you have your own dream or project, and would like some support or collaborative brainstorming about it? Use the green “contact” button above to schedule a free, no-strings one-hour phone or video call with me!
Want to be notified of future blog posts? Use the green “sign up” button to subscribe!
Want to support my vision financially? I am in a continual process of manifesting $50,000 per year in lieu of a “salary” for the unconventional work I do in the world. You can make a one-time or monthly contribution, or even become a Fairy Godfunder! (Heartfelt thanks to all my patrons, contributors, and godfunders!)
Hey, all! I’m still here with my friend Denise in Olympia, Washington for a couple more days. I’ve spent most of the winter—and spring so far—here, and it’s been lovely, but I’m looking forward to returning to Portland for a sit with some of my regular kitties, Rocket and Einstein.
But today, I was heading downtown on foot, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a city bus headed to the train station… and look what its readerboard said!
So cool: Dreaming + Amtrak! Perfect for me! (And this on top of the fact that all of Olympia’s city buses are fareless—you can ride for free! I did, on the way back up the steep hill from downtown.)
I am taking this serendipitous transit sighting as one of a constellation of green lights in my life, getting me closer to my dream of riding every mile of track in Amtrak’s network this year.
My first step is the California portion of my journey: riding Amtrak’s San Joaquins line for the first time. I plan to do that next month. The puzzle pieces have started to fall into place, though I still have a few more I need to complete. (Maybe you know people you could connect me with?) Realistically, I also need to raise a bit of money, so that I’m not dipping even deeper into my dwindling savings. But I always like to make bold plans first, and trust that the money will follow as needed! So far, so good on that.
At this point, I plan to depart Portland on the afternoon of Sunday, May 4th (May the Fourth be with me!) arriving in Emeryville, California on the morning of the 5th. I plan to do a cat sit in Emeryville until the 10th, and then attend my friend Mimi’s Global Vegan Waffle Party in Berkeley that afternoon! Then I will board a train to either Bakersfield or Fresno, depending on whether I manage to secure the cat sit I’ve applied for in Fresno. It looks like I have been offered a place to stay in a vegan, NVC-friendly community house in Bakersfield, so I’m looking forward to that!
I also want to visit the Japanese garden I have just learned about in Fresno. Also, while I am in one of those two cities, I am really hoping to find someone to carpool with me to Sequoia National Park, since I have never visited there. (The most massive tree in the world lives there!)
After my time in Fresno, Bakersfield, and/or Sequoia, I will board the train up to Sacramento, arriving late at night. (Not sure of the date yet.) I would like to stay a few days in the Sacramento area as well—though I would need to find either a cat sit or lodging to do so—and then return to Portland by train. (Or possibly, instead, work my way north toward the Avenue of the Giants and then back to Portland via southern Oregon, but that would require some careful carpool planning. But it would be really cool, so if you know anyone who might want to join me and carpool for any part of that journey, please feel free to put us in touch!)
After this trip, I hope to stay in the Portland area—or at least the Northwest—for much of the summer, cat sitting full time. During that time, I will need to find a way to raise significant funds, as well as come up with a logistical travel plan, to hit the rest of the Amtrak network in August and September. This will include places as far-flung as Maine, Michigan, Oklahoma, and South Carolina, to name but a few.
But I’m excited! As our nation and world face seemingly unprecedented threats (photos from my attendance at the Hands Off rally at the Washington State Capitol the other day below) I am still dreaming into the now, and the future, of my intention to connect with people, share healing and inspiration, and empower those dreaming into a better world at this time.
Here are some photos of Angel the Olympia kitty; signs from the rally; and spring blooms in Olympia, including some at the free, public Yashiro Japanese Garden. The last photo is from Sylvester Park, today.
Thanks again for all of your support in my journey!
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Do you have your own dream or project, and would like some support or collaborative brainstorming about it? Use the green “contact” button above to schedule a free, no-strings one-hour phone or video call with me!
Want to be notified of future blog posts? Use the green “sign up” button to subscribe!
Want to support my vision financially? I am in a continual process of manifesting $50,000 per year in lieu of a “salary” for the unconventional work I do in the world. You can make a one-time or monthly contribution, or even become a Fairy Godfunder! (Heartfelt thanks to all my patrons, contributors, and godfunders!)
Time flies. Last I wrote to you all was in November, right after the election.
Wow.
I won’t go into detail about that; suffice it to say that things have changed in our nation, as so many of us expected and feared they would. I hope you are all taking good care of your mental health at this time.
I’ve spent the winter mostly withdrawn, processing as much as I can. I’ve mostly been up in Washington state—both Olympia and Seattle—cat sitting and staying with friends and family.
With spring now officially sprung in the northern hemisphere, I’m beginning to emerge, and starting to dream up something that might become the next chapter in my life.
Reflecting on my own strengths and weaknesses, I’ve been pondering how I might make the highest and best use of the gifts I have to serve the human collective in the time I have on this earth. I also want to practice good self-care. I’m feeling like about a 50-50 mix of taking good care of myself, and using my self-cared human energy to help the whole, seems like a good ratio.
One of my favorite things to do, as many of you know, is to travel by Amtrak. And now, it’s looking like Amtrak is—once again—in severe peril under this administration. I don’t know when traditional Amtrak travel might become irreparably changed or destroyed, but I’d rather not waste any time.
I estimate that I have covered somewhere between two-thirds and three-quarters of all the miles in the Amtrak system, over the past 30 years since I took my first long-distance train trip (on a route that no longer even exists, from Portland to Salt Lake City).
A few years ago, I read the story of an elderly man who proudly celebrated the completion of his goal of riding every single mile of track in the network.
I’m now thinking I would like to add that to my own list of life achievements. I’d like to cover all the routes, and parts of routes, I have not yet taken, such as the iconic City of New Orleans line. I’d love to see some of the same people and places I visited in my year of travels, and also continue to add new “magical meetings” with new people I might meet along these new routes.
Once again, I would want to make this travel as meaningful as possible. Of course I’d like to see beautiful sights, including cities and national parks and other natural areas. But I’d also like to have a theme for the trip of human joy, connection, and resiliency. Is our nation crumbling, in a way that we cannot prevent? If so, how do we move forward? How can we stay meaningfully connected to each other? How can we dream into new futures that will benefit all of humanity, under—and/or, ideally, after—this new reality?
I know there are people out there asking themselves these questions, and some are coming up with inspiring and creative answers. I want to connect with these people. I want to support them emotionally and/or spiritually. I want to spread the word of their ideas and projects (to the extent they feel comfortable doing so) with others. As always, I want to connect folks with each other, to strengthen their abilities to be successful.
I have already spent the last four years building a life for myself that would allow me to quickly jump into this sort of travel. Weather-wise, since most of my destinations are in the Midwest and Northeast, I’m thinking I’d like for it to happen in late summer. Amtrak is currently fully funded for FY 2025, but that fiscal year ends September 30, so it’s less clear what might be possible for me after that. I’m thinking I’ll plan to stay in Portland this spring and early summer, cat sitting and enjoying the weather we wait all year for in this region, but I might embark earlier if logistics called for it.
For example, one section I still need to do is the track that runs to Bakersfield, California, from both Sacramento and Oakland. Bakersfield is scorching hot in the summer, so I might do that segment as early as this coming week—I’ve got a two-week cat sitting gap, so the timing might work out just right. (Do you know anyone in the East Bay, Bakersfield, and/or Sacramento who might enjoy hosting me for a few nights, between March 30 and April 9? Please feel free to put us in touch!) Alternatively, I might do this segment of the trip in early-mid May.
My main obstacle is money, and unfortunately it is a significant challenge. I’ve been barely scraping by these past few years, with my income from cat sitting and online English tutoring. Despite my meager earnings this past year, I am also now facing a hefty tax bill, which is causing me no small amount of concern. I will need to somehow manifest a large sum of money to make this Amtrak plan a reality. (A year’s “salary” from fairy godfunding would fit the bill nicely, so if anyone reading this knows of people with extra resources who would feel aligned with my vision, please feel free to connect us.)
So, I am putting this out into the collective consciousness, as my current dream and intention. I hope to be able to write more soon as the vision unfolds. In the meantime, I am always open to new magical meetings with anyone anywhere in the world by video chat. So if you know of anyone who aligns with any aspect of this vision and who might want to chat with me to talk about it, please feel free to put us in touch! These one-on-one magical meetings are the “technology” by which I do much of my work in the world.
Thank you all, as always, for witnessing this and following me on my life’s journey. I wish you all safety, peace, and joy as we move forward.
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Do you have your own dream or project, and would like some support or collaborative brainstorming about it? Use the green “contact” button above to schedule a free, no-strings one-hour phone or video call with me!
Want to be notified of future blog posts? Use the green “sign up” button to subscribe!
Want to support my vision financially? I am in a continual process of manifesting $50,000 per year in lieu of a “salary” for the unconventional work I do in the world. You can make a one-time or monthly contribution, or even become a Fairy Godfunder! (Heartfelt thanks to all my patrons, contributors, and godfunders!)
Wow. It’s been nearly six months since I wrote my last blog post. My apologies for the delay. The summer felt a bit surreal, and now the fall is even more surreal.
November 8th is my birthday (52 this year) and we have just been through a major election (oof!) so I thought this would be a good time to check in.
In late May, around the time I wrote my last post, I met a quirky and interesting man on a dating app, and quickly began to fall in love. Our relationship has felt both delightfully magical and at times deeply challenging, and I’m not sure what the future holds for us. I’m taking the relationship—like life itself—a day at a time.
These days, it feels like Life (with a capital L) has many learnings to share with me—about myself and the nature of reality—if I allow myself to be challenged, and to breathe through the difficult parts. Close relationships, as well as times of national and international turmoil, can push us to explore these questions.
On a day-to-day basis, I’ve continued my full-time cat sitting lifestyle, mostly in Portland for the summer, although I recently did a short sit in Hood River, Oregon, in the Columbia River Gorge, which was a nice getaway. I have also continued tutoring English to students around the globe on Cambly, which has been a cool way to continually gain different perspectives on life. These two income streams have been keeping the wolf from my door—if just barely—while allowing me the freedom and flexibility to live a relatively unencumbered life, with time for nature and reflection.
(Birthday “blissday” artwork by my wonderfully talented friend Zen Achilles)
A few months ago, I also began studying Japanese on Duolingo. This has been fun, since I studied Japanese for a year back in college in the early 1990s. Since that time, I have visited Japan once (in 1998), have become enamored of Japanese gardens (have visited at least 35 or 40 of them in the US and Canada, over the last couple of decades) and have recently enjoyed watching a handful of Japanese reality shows on Netflix. Many of my Cambly students are Japanese, too, so it’s fun for me to discuss a little bit about their language and culture during our English lessons.
I’ve also continued to enjoy my walks in nature, especially forested areas. This part of the world contains so much natural beauty.
As we collectively enter a new era after this election… and as I experience another birthday, another opportunity to know myself… I find myself growing increasingly clear that my best and strongest gift to the human collective is that of love and empathetic witnessing. I find this to be true even—and especially—during these times of conflict, turmoil, violence, anger, fear, and human division. I am re-committing myself to offering empathetic listening to people who feel drawn to receiving it. Although I do need to sustain myself financially—and therefore continue to offer listening and life coaching to ongoing clients on a paid basis—I also like to simply offer free listening on an ad-hoc basis to folks I may reach out to if I sense that they need it, or to folks who may approach me because they feel drawn to being seen and heard in this way.
And of course I offer this invitation right now, to anyone who may be reading this. If you’re struggling in any area(s) of life, please feel free to reach out and we can schedule a time to talk, where I will listen with empathy, refraining from any judgment or advice, but simply hearing whatever you are going through and offering encouragement and support. Those of you who have experienced this know that it can be a surprisingly powerful practice.
I’m not sure how frequently I will be updating this blog going forward; I am choosing to follow my heart and intuition about when things feel right for me to share.
I do have one intention for the dark and cold months, though, and I’d love your help and support to manifest it: I’d like to take my traditional cold-season train trip to southern California, and to make that happen I will need some paid cat sits in that area. This time I’m aiming for the areas along the Coast Starlight train line, mostly Santa Barbara or Los Angeles. (My beloved San Diego is a place I’m considering as well, but I had so many troubles last year transporting my rig between the two cities, I’m aiming for the low-hanging location fruit this year.) My dates are between about December 18th and the New Year, though I have some flexibility. If you know of anyone in southern California who might need an experienced holiday cat sitter at reasonable rates, please feel free to share my link with them: www.dreamintochange.com/cat-sitting.
Thank you all for following along and witnessing me in my life. As always, it means a lot to me. I’ve been pulling back from social media in the past year or so, but I’m very open to one-on-one conversations with people, so if you’d like to connect by phone or video chat, please also feel free to reach out for that!
Wishing the best for all of you, all of us.
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Do you have your own dream or project, and would like some support or collaborative brainstorming about it? Use the green “contact” button above to schedule a free, no-strings one-hour phone or video call with me!
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It’s been a few weeks, so I wanted to check in here, but I don’t have much news to report. But I’ve been sitting for many cute kitties, and walking in lots of glorious nature and a few gardens, so I wanted to at least share the photos.
First, about three weeks ago I got back to Portland from my Salem sit, and due to a delayed Coast Starlight train, I got a rare double-Superliner sighting at Portland Union Station—cool!
I’ll show you the cats first, then the parks. The cats—in order of appearance—are Magellan & Meiling, Zu (whom you might recall from last summer), Einstein, Rocket, and Felix. Today I will say goodbye to Felix and say hello to two more tuxedo cuties—Abby and Lily, littermate sisters you also might remember from last summer.
As for the scenery, I visited Tryon Creek State Park shortly after returning to Portland. It never disappoints.
Then, during my sit for Einstein and Rocket in Happy Valley, I visited several nearby natural areas. I’ll be sitting for them again next month, and I’m looking forward to visiting several other nearby parks at that time.
One day while there, I took my bike to climb way up into the neighborhood to see amazing views of Mt. Hood. (Then in the Mt. Scott Nature Park 1.1-mile trail loop up there, I was surprised to come upon an overgrown car!)
On one occasion this past week, I visited Johnny in Salem by taking the train from Oregon City rather than Portland, since Happy Valley is within about a 45-minute bike ride from Oregon City. On the way back, I saw some lovely golden-hour views from the bike path.
During these past two days in the southeast Portland neighborhood of Sellwood, I first visited Sellwood Park, then biked a couple miles northeast to reach the iconic Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden, which I found in just slightly post-peak splendor.
I’m so happy to be here at this time of the year!
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Happy mid-spring to all of you in the northern hemisphere! (And mid-autumn to those down south!)
After my dramatic last post, the past few weeks have been pretty tame and pleasant. Although the rains and cooler temps have now re-descended on the Northwest, I was blessed upon my return with a solid couple of weeks of unseasonably dry and sunny skies, coupled with beautiful spring blossoms, both in Portland—where I stayed with two friends for a few days each, then did a short cat sit—and then in Salem/Keizer, where I spent a week with a wonderful kitty named Rocky.
There’s really not much to report, so I’ll mostly make this a photo essay, since I visited several local nature parks, but a couple things:
I got to see Johnny again, after a two-month absence, and it was wonderful to learn about all the great things he is working on in the prison, including lots of projects with the Asian Club as well as regaining a job as one of two healing garden caretakers, so he’s spending lots of time nurturing his creation and enjoying the out of doors.
I also had a cool serendipitous meeting with a fellow Bromptoneer in Bush’s Pasture Park! Salem is not a hot spot for Bromptons. Although I spot one in Portland maybe once a week or so (including immediately after my train trip back up here after Salem) I think I had only ever seen one in Salem, in the 12+ years I have been visiting there regularly.
But on my last full day in the area, I was enjoying spectacular weather next to one of my favorite parks in the city, immediately after doing a meet-and-greet for a possible late-summer cat sit in an adjacent neighborhood. After walking through first the camas forest and then the resplendent rhododendron path, I had found a nice shady bench and was simply sinking into the moment, when along came a man on a beautiful, brand-new-looking dark green Brompton. His name was Wayne, and he sat down and joined me for what turned into a chat of well over an hour.
I love serendipitous magical meetings! And it’s so fun how the Brompton often sparks them when I’m out and about.
I’m back in Portland now, caring for a couple of cuties I’ll write about in my next post, but I’ll leave you here with a parting photo of Rocky.
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Do you have your own dream or project, and would like some support or collaborative brainstorming about it? Use the green “contact” button above to schedule a free, no-strings one-hour phone or video call with me!
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I got more than I bargained for these last two days, on my ride back up to Portland from LA on the Amtrak Coast Starlight.
Yesterday began early, when my alarm went off at 6:00. I fed Ellie, showered, cleaned up, and packed. I locked up the condo, and started rolling downhill on the rig at 7:56. My goal was to make it to the station by 9:00, for our 9:51 departure.
I enjoyed a lovely bike ride in the morning sun, mostly on the LA River bike path. I did arrive at the station just shy of 9:00, and made it to the first class Metropolitan Lounge to check in. I was glad I had upgraded to the roomette for the whole duration of the trip; those were points well spent.
As I boarded from the rear of the train, I noticed that we would be towing two beautiful private rail cars. (Later, at dinner, I happened to look out the window as the train went around a bend, and discovered that we had added a third!) I hope that someday I get a chance to ride in one of those cars. A Facebook friend commented that sometimes the owners of those cars are willing to take on passengers, for a donation. I’m going to keep that in mind!
Once inside, I settled into my berth, excited for the journey ahead.
We departed exactly on time, but unfortunately had to stop within the first half hour, because a train ahead of us had fatally struck a pedestrian. This was certainly a sobering event, especially because within about fifteen minutes of the time the conductor announced it to us, my phone screamed with a “silver alert” about a recently reported missing elderly or impaired person. What a horrible day it must have been for whoever called in the alert, not to mention whoever was driving that train, or anyone else who might have witnessed the incident.
(Compounding the tragedy, the next day—today—our counterpart, the southbound Coast Starlight, also had a fatal collision with a pedestrian.)
Our resulting standstill, in Glendale, ended up being three hours—just two miles from the condo I had left at 7:56.
During the delay, our lunch service began. I was seated in the dining car with a woman from Olympia, who was returning from a conference in San Diego. We had an interesting conversation about her varied career path and her time living overseas. As it turned out, she also has two cats, and some upcoming travel plans. I gave her my card; maybe at some point I’ll do a sit for her.
Meanwhile, three Portland friends had reached out to me, nearly simultaneously, requesting sits in the next few months. What a cool synchronicity.
After lunch, however, things took a bit of a turn.
I wandered into the adjoining observation lounge car, where I always like to spend a good chunk of my ride, checking out the view and seeing if I can find spontaneous magical meetings.
I did enjoy some beautiful views.
But the peacefulness of the ride was marred for me by a 61-year-old man behind me, talking more loudly than I judged he needed to, for a total of about two hours. The man’s name, I soon learned, was Dan. (Not really, but I’ll call him that.) During this time span, Dan engaged in two extended phone calls, with the intervening hour or so taken up in his conversation with the 21-year-old young man a few seats down from him. (One “excerpt” from the phone calls: “… Yeah, and he saw some houses for sale in that area, and thought they looked really great. He was asking me, Hey, could you loan me half a million to buy one of these? But I was like, No, I’m not loaning you anything for that…”)
The young man seated near him, it turned out, had recently dropped out of college in order to become a firefighter. This pleased Dan immensely. He proudly related that he himself was a veteran of the Los Angeles Police Department, and that his sons, now in their late 20s, had followed similar career paths as the young man. (“The younger one jumps out of helicopters.”)
I lost track of how many times I heard him say “Good for you. I’m proud of you!” but I would estimate it was at least seven or eight times. The young man seemed to appreciate the positive feedback, but it grated on my nerves every time I heard it. (Sir, this young man is a stranger to you—not to mention a sovereign being—and has not sought your approval of his life choices.)
I did my best to focus on the beauty in front of me, rather than cringing repeatedly as Dan held forth on a variety of topics, including authoritatively pointing out to everyone within earshot where Elon Musk’s launch pad was.
At 5:30, dinnertime came, and I was relieved to be able to leave the lounge and enter the dining car again. What cool fellow passengers would I meet there?
The first was a young man originally from Hawaii, now returning to Santa Cruz from a weekend in Santa Barbara.
The second… turned out to be Dan.
My heart sank, and my teeth set.
I was now going to be forced to engage in extended conversation with this gregarious self-appointed authority on life.
I ordered a complimentary vodka drink with dinner, my classic Amtrak cocktail. I had looked forward to loosening up with the drink to have a cool dinner conversation with a delightful dining companion or two. In this unexpected and unfortunate circumstance, though, I was still very glad to have the drink: within about ten minutes it took my disgruntled edge off, such that I was able to relax and even somewhat enjoy the conversation. Dan, of course, repeated himself quite a bit, unaware that I had already heard much of his shtick. I nodded politely. He was fascinated to hear about my nomadic cat sitting lifestyle, and seemed to especially admire that “You don’t have to answer to anybody. Good for you!”
Indeed.
The conversation somehow became tolerable, even pleasant. (Amazing what alcohol can do. Dan, for his part, started the meal with a double whiskey on the rocks, followed by another single shortly afterward.) The three of us talked about a variety of topics, and I found myself, to my great surprise, genuinely smiling and laughing.
Was this to be a poignant example of finding someone distasteful at first, but then actually having a face-to-face conversation with them as a fellow human being, and changing one’s perspective? I was struck that this was what the world desperately needs right now. And Amtrak’s dining car could be a venue to nurture such conversations.
At one point, I felt comfortable enough to bring up Johnny and his project to build the Japanese garden in the prison. Dan seemed duly impressed, though perhaps less effusive than some other people have been upon learning about it.
He then asked what I thought was the one single change we could make as a society to end all crime.
I thought for a moment, then said, “End trauma.” (Or maybe “heal trauma.” It was something like that. I felt very grounded in my answer at that moment—and I do think it is a solid answer—and I think the cocktail helped me to say it extra confidently, even to a former LAPD officer.)
Dan, however, brushed off my answer. He said something like, “You don’t even need to think about trauma,” implying that his answer was going to supersede anything trauma-related.
Our dinner was over, and we were asked to leave, as new passengers needed to be seated. Our dining companion, the young surfer, had checked out of the conversation a while ago, and was now headed back to his seat.
During dinner, Dan had offered to buy me another cocktail, which I declined. But he now wanted to continue our conversation in the observation lounge. I agreed, curious though skeptical as to what his answer might be to solve crime in the United States without addressing trauma.
As we made our way out of the dining car and into the lounge, he began his explanation by impressing upon me the importance of women. Fixing his eyes on mine, he said, “You are tremendously powerful. Tremendously powerful. You have a calming effect on us. We are brutish beasts, and you…”
He trailed off, lost in thought, as I began to realize that the conversation was shifting, and found myself laboring to keep my eyes from rolling visibly.
We found seats in the lounge, and with the new intensity in his eyes, he began discussing the decline of the nuclear family.
“Tell me what you think of this: One man, one woman, a stable marriage… and no undercutting each other in front of the kids.”
This was his solution to crime?
I value respectful dialogue, and I am curious to understand the beliefs of people with whom I disagree. I’m always hopeful as to whether people with seemingly opposing beliefs can find potentially constructive common ground. So I asked a few clarifying questions. I also said that I thought a stable two-parent family could indeed be a good basis for raising healthy and well-adjusted community members, but that I didn’t think it needed to be a man and a woman: “I think we should open your model to allow for gay and lesbian parents, too, since they can also raise healthy and well-adjusted kids.”
This did not sit well with Dan.
The next few minutes are a bit of a blur for me, but I remember a few things:
Dan first brought up a particular sexual kink that he said gay and lesbian people practice, which he knew because of “seeing it” in his police work. (“They have”—he leaned in close to me, lowered his voice, and contorted his face—“orgasms… from choking!”)
I found this to be an odd and tangential thing to bring up, so I simply replied (with puzzlement probably visible on my face) “Straight people do that too,” which he said he had “never seen in all my years on the force.”
He then asked me to tell him if I felt more or less safe now, walking around a city at night, than I did 20 or 30 years ago. I could guess the answer he was looking for, of course, but the question did make me curious about my actual lived experience, and I wanted to answer honestly. So I looked slightly up and to my left, thinking back a few decades, so that I could give an accurate answer. He saw me thinking, and didn’t like the looks of it: contempt overtook his face as he said, “And don’t give me any of that, you know, politically correct…”
At this point, as he searched for the most scathing noun to use, I became very aware that I did not want to be in this conversation. This was not the conversation I had agreed to. It was clear that the questions he was asking only had one “right” answer, and it was also clear that I was not playing my assigned role in the script.
No… this was decidedly not the Amtrak lounge experience I had envisioned.
Out loud, I said, “I’m not enjoying this conversation.”
I don’t remember his reply, but I do remember that his voice grew louder and more combative as he delivered it, and I felt my face getting hot. I gathered my bag and stood up:
“I’m leaving. We’re done. We’re done.”
As I walked away, back toward my room, I heard him yell after me, “Yeah… that’s how you all are! Dumb as hell!”
Wow. Even just writing that now, 24 hours after the fact, I can feel my stomach tighten.
This is not the America I want to live in. I’m so disheartened. I don’t know how to fix it.
I had a hard time falling asleep after that, thinking about it all. I avoided the lounge the whole next day, today. (Fortunately, the views from my side of the train in my berth were beautiful, including Mount Shasta, which we saw in full late-morning daylight because of our delay, which had somehow increased by two hours overnight by the time I woke up just south of Chico.)
At breakfast, I was relieved to not see him in the dining car.
However, a little girl in the booth behind me was coughing and sniffling copiously, in a very contagious-sounding way.
Great.
As it turned out, though, I was seated with her and her mother at lunch (thankfully no sign of Dan again, though I knew he would be disembarking with me in Portland, then continuing on to one of his vacation homes on the Oregon coast) and the girl’s mother assured me that the child’s symptoms were a result of allergies, not a virus.
Perhaps the most surreal event of this journey, however, happened this afternoon after lunch. Once again I returned straight to my berth, avoiding the lounge car. I noticed a message on my phone from someone I barely know—a young man in a country on the other side of the world, whom I had met via English tutoring. After our initial meeting, about six months ago, we had had a brief chat about my travels, and then no further contact.
In his Facebook message, he said he had some questions for me on a “sensitive topic,” and would I be OK to discuss them with him?
Good lord.
Was he going to ask me about US foreign policy, or something like that? Was he going to ask me to answer for the actions of my government? My mind jumped to the most stressful hypothetical possibility.
Was I prepared to have a conversation like that?
No. In my current state, I definitely was not.
But could I say that? Is that just a privileged American cop-out, to avoid difficult conversations because we’re “having a bad day?”
This day did seem to be getting worse.
I debated with myself. Should I just ignore his messages? I barely knew the guy. And the messages actually seemed to be written in kind of an odd way, and I wondered if perhaps his Facebook Messenger had been hacked by a scammer. This has happened to several of my friends recently. Maybe the “sensitive topic” was some sort of pyramid or crypto scheme…?
Arghhhh!
I sat with it all for a moment.
I decided not to let difficult circumstances—even this recent “Dan trauma,” which I was still processing—make me shrink back from life.
I know that courage is important, even in small interpersonal communications. Choosing to just avoid more and more people shrinks the arena of my life.
At the same time, though, I did still want to honor myself and my boundaries.
So, I wrote back to this person, telling him I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to discuss a sensitive topic. I then related a brief version of my recent interactions with Dan.
The young man replied with such empathy and concern that I felt myself tearing up.
Wow.
How powerful it was to be witnessed—for the first time, since I hadn’t shared my interaction with Dan with anyone else—and also supported. And not just by anyone, but by a near-stranger, from a totally different culture, halfway around the world.
I thanked him, and he reiterated his support.
And, he said he wasn’t looking to talk about religion or politics. He had questions about sexuality! His culture is much more sexually conservative than mine, and I don’t know what made him reach out to me specifically, but I was so relieved that this was all he wanted to talk about!
I actually welcome the opportunity to talk openly about sexuality, especially with younger people, in this era of ubiquitous internet porn (which turned out to be what he had questions about) so… wow.
Was not expecting that.
We had a respectful and informative exchange for about half an hour, until the train reached southern Oregon and my internet dropped out suddenly, cutting off the conversation rather abruptly. Fortunately, I had warned him ahead of time that this might happen, so hopefully he wasn’t too surprised or disappointed.
All in all, I would say that this was one of the most surreal 36-hour+ journeys I have ever experienced. It kind of reminds me of the gnarly-but-worthwhile acid trip I took almost exactly a year ago… and I feel about equivalently wrung out in its wake.
I now wonder what Oregon has in store for me this summer? I hope it will be lots of snuggly and easy-care kitties, lots of nature and forest walks, and lots of powerful magical meetings, both in person and around the world.
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Happy post-eclipse, for any of you reading who may have been able to view all or part of it. I was slightly disappointed to have not been able to travel to a “totality” destination (especially since I just missed totality on the last eclipse—I went to work at my job in Portland rather than taking the day off to travel to Salem) but I am grateful that LA had at least a partial eclipse, and that the weather was clear and sunny to allow us to enjoy it.
But let me back up a bit:
When I left you last week, I was bidding a fond farewell to San Diego.
The following morning, I bicycled from my Pacific Beach sit to San Diego’s Old Town Transit Center, where I boarded the northbound Coaster train to Carlsbad. I stayed the night in a Carlsbad hotel, and then in the morning my friend Daniela picked me up in her tiny-and-packed-to-the-gills yellow Fiat. At first, we weren’t sure how we would be able to fit my whole rig in the car, but where there’s a will (and a bike rack!) there’s a way. In short order, we were headed north.
She dropped me off at my cousin Nathalie’s place in the Highland Park neighborhood of Los Angeles, near Pasadena. Daniela then continued north on her epic road trip back to Portland. (I’m sure I’ll see her there soon!)
For my part, I had a free day, and Nathalie wouldn’t be home from work until the evening, so I took the opportunity to get my bike repaired at an awesome Brompton-certified bike shop, Just Ride L.A. The shop is downtown, but after about a ten-minute fully downhill bike ride, I was able to catch a bus that took me the rest of the seven miles to the shop.
I was really impressed with Just Ride L.A. They had more Bromptons available on the shelf than any other Brompton shop I’ve seen.
Not only that, but when I mentioned to the employee, Danny, that I happened to have a friend in LA with a Brompton, he said, “What’s her name? It’s a small community!” When I mentioned her name, he told me that he had a brand-new purple 12-speed Brompton on hold for her, ready for her to pick up the very next day! He even showed me a photo of the bike. Clearly, these folks care about their customers.
I needed a specific repair, since a piece of the rear fender had fallen off the bike(!) while I was riding down Nimitz Blvd. in San Diego a couple weeks ago. However, Danny told me that he could save me some money on the labor for that repair—and the usual one-week wait they have for service—if I would allow them to do a full tuneup on the bike, with a no-charge “rush” to get it done by the end of the day, since I explained that even next-day service wouldn’t really work for my situation.
I hadn’t budgeted the time nor money for this, but I had to admit that the bike was due for a tuneup, and getting it done before my return to rainy Portland sounded good.
So I pivoted my plans for the day, and dropped off the bike for a few hours. He even gave me a loaner Brompton, so I could enjoy tooling around downtown LA, which I had never done before.
Of course I had to visit the legendary LA vegan doughnut shop, Donut Friend, where I enjoyed a hazelnut-cream glazed doughnut that was amazing.
After that, I visited several downtown pocket parks, all of which impressed me with their lush beauty amidst the urban pavement and auto traffic.
That evening, Nathalie and I enjoyed a catchup talk on her balcony, over a dinner of incredible sandwiches she treated me to from Maciel’s Plant-Based Butcher. (I had been dreaming of that place since my last visit, more than a year ago. If you find yourself in LA, go! They have two locations.)
The following afternoon, it was time to ride my freshly tuned bike and its trusty trailer from Highland Park to my new cat sit in Los Feliz, just south of Griffith Park. It was a gorgeous day for the move (my rain curse was finally broken!) and I was pleased to find that most of the nine miles were on car-free bike paths.
There was a steady climb at the end, but I made it to my destination in time to meet the host momentarily, and receive the keys in person.
And this sit has been everything I dreamed it would be. What a wonderful way to spend my week in LA, and my final week in SoCal for the season.
The condo was built in 1976, and it has a wonderful feel I probably can’t convey in words. For me, it evokes Simon and Garfunkel’s The Dangling Conversation (although that was released ten years prior) in the best possible way. It is spacious yet warm-feeling, light-filled yet cozy, full of lush plants and midcentury furnishings… this space is definitely one of my favorites from the past year and a half I have been cat sitting, and I hope I can come back sometime.
And the cat!
Ellie was one of the sweetest and easiest-to-care-for cats I’ve sat for… but her facial expressions have often been comically surly! (Her people have assured me that this is her standard demeanor.) I hope you’ll indulge me; I can’t help sharing an extensive gallery of her scowls, but also snuggles and flops. It will be hard to say goodbye to her tomorrow.
While I’ve been in this place, I have been out and about exploring the city, too. I went back to the OsteoStrong in Studio City, enjoying classic subway views along the way.
Then yesterday, I took a spur-of-the-moment trip out to Pasadena, to meet a man who had contacted me after stumbling across my blog.
Peter lives in a sort of ad-hoc community in Altadena, largely tied to a classic (40-year-old!) vegan grocery store and cafe. Sadly, the store was closed when I visited, since the proprietor was taking a short medical leave. (I wish I could have met him, because he sounds like an amazing person.)
But I had a good chat with Peter, and got to meet a few of his housemates, one of whom was a turtle named Slider!
It was another gloriously sunny day, so we all enjoyed the front yard while we talked about community, traveling, and bicycles.
Then today, I had another spontaneous adventure when I made my way up to the Griffith Observatory lawn to take in the partial eclipse. I took the bus partway, then walked up seemingly endless flights of neighborhood stairs until I reached the dusty path upward to the observatory.
Along the way, I met another interesting man, Shin, who has lived in LA most of his life since arriving from Japan with his family in 1979. Shin had his adorable dog Percy with him, as well as some mats for sitting on the ground. Neither he nor I had managed to find eclipse glasses to bring (I had visited five optometrists’ offices yesterday afternoon, to no avail) but I was relieved to discover once we arrived that the gift shop was indeed selling them, despite their website’s warning that they would not be available today.
It was really cool to hang out on the observatory lawn, with probably a few hundred other people, for about two hours, and watch the moon slowly take a bite out of the sun. It only obscured about half of it, so we didn’t get cold or dark, but it was still surreal to experience.
The descent from the observatory afterward provided the incredible view of the city I had seen for the first time about a month ago, when I did a sit in Burbank, and had a magical meeting with a new friend at the observatory.
Tomorrow morning, I will rise early and bicycle about seven and a half miles to LA’s Union Station, to board the train back to Portland. (No rain in the forecast on either end—fingers crossed that holds!)
As always, I’m looking forward to the journey. I’m also feeling incredibly full and joyful from this past wonderful week, and these past wonderful two months in California. I’m so proud and grateful to have manifested about half of my original plan from twelve years ago, to live in San Diego from December through March. Maybe I can manifest that fully next year. For now, I’m excited to spend the next six months in my beloved Portland.
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Well, this is it—my last day in San Diego County. I’m spending the night in a hotel in Carlsbad, before my Portland friend Daniela picks me up tomorrow and drives me to LA. (She’s been staying in Imperial Valley for the past week or so, and will be driving all the way back to Portland, so I’m lucky to catch her on this early leg of the trip.)
I had initially planned to take the Greyhound to LA two days ago. I bought the nonrefundable ticket several days ago (oof, $32 down the drain) because I believed it was my best—actually only—option, and I also believed that if I didn’t jump on the purchase, the price would increase. (Pretty sure I was correct about that, and when I did later try to push it back by a day, the additional cost to change the ticket date was going to be $35. Argh!)
But then—of course!—severe rains came to San Diego (complete with flood warnings) and I feared getting completely drenched on the 6.3-mile bike ride from my sit to the Greyhound stop, which would not have made for a fun ride.
I further feared having to wrestle the sopping-wet rig into the cargo hold of the bus. (It would have cost me an extra $30 to go by the book and pay for the trailer, so I had decided to try my luck sneaking it on, which was a successful strategy a few weeks ago when I last took the Greyhound to LA. But my fear-mind couldn’t help envisioning a torrential standoff with a cranky driver—as faithful readers will know, this has happened twice recently—and ending up forfeiting the bus fare anyway, plus being stranded at the transit center, having already locked the house key inside when I left.) Rain was also forecast for LA that day—including flood warnings—and I would have had to bicycle a significant distance there on the other end of the Greyhound ride, including a formidable hill at the end.
So, I sprang for a $67 nonrefundable hotel ticket for tonight here in Carlsbad, and took up my affable and generous cat sitting host, Steve, on his offer to stay the previous night at his place. This way, I could catch the ride with Daniela, since she was to be coming through the area Tuesday.
I’m glad I did this. It gave me two more days in the San Diego area. I admit I was somewhat chagrined to discover that I actually probably could have made it to the Greyhound stop just after the day of rain stopped (literally, about half an hour before I would have needed to go) but given everything I was juggling, I can’t have any regrets: I made the best decisions I could given the circumstances. (That is what this lifestyle is all about! And I always choose not to have regrets; I know I’m always doing my best.)
Anyway, this morning I packed up my things and said goodbye to Steve and the kitties, and had a gloriously sunny and leisurely ride through Mission Bay over to the Old Town Transit Center. This was the same place I would have caught the Greyhound, but this time I caught the Coaster (which was running!! Yay!!) and decided to take it past Carlsbad all the way up to Oceanside. I had about three hours before check-in time at the hotel, so I moseyed my way south to Carlsbad, stopping to rest and relax at every park I passed.
Actually, back in 2021, when I was still planning my year of travels, it occurred to me at one point how cool it would be if I made a “policy” of stopping to rest on a bench in every single park I bicycled past. I didn’t end up doing that—sometimes I was on a tight timeline—so today I thought back on that idea, and realized that with my current lifestyle of cat sitting, I am more able to take the time to do so.
I’m so happy to be living this life!
Tomorrow, after the ride to LA with Daniela, I will spend the night at my cousin Nathalie’s place in the Highland Park neighborhood. Then I’ll spend the following week on a new cat sit in LA’s Los Feliz neighborhood, just south of Griffith Park.
I will leave you with a new picture gallery. First (including the “cover photo” of one of my favorite buildings on the Prado) are scenes from Balboa Park over the past few weeks. All my previous posts have been too full of other photos to include these, but I have to share pics from my beloved cactus garden.
And, on this visit I also explored the eastern edge of Balboa Park for the first time, and loved the spring-tree feeling there, as well as a view of one of San Diego’s many canyons, just east of there.
I also want to share some scenes from yesterday’s stroll through the Pacific Beach neighborhood, where Moppet and Mittens live.
And lastly, a few shots of those two cuties. I’ll miss them.
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Wow, I’ve been in SoCal for almost two months now. The time has flown. I’m very sad to think about leaving soon.
I’ve got two more full days here in San Diego, and then a little more than a week in LA… and then I’ll be boarding that Amtrak for Portland on the 9th!
I plan to write at least a couple more blog posts from down here. This time, I’ll just do a catch-up of my life from the past couple of weeks. There hasn’t been anything as dramatic as in my last post, but it’s been a pleasant time.
Probably my top accomplishment has been filing my taxes, which I finished yesterday. It seems like they get more complicated each year, especially now that I’m mostly a gig worker juggling multiple Schedule Cs. And it’s hard to no longer have W-2s, and withholdings: even with my extremely meager earnings this year, I still owe more than $400.
Oh well… I’m living life on my own terms, and mostly loving it!
After I left off from my magical stay in Hillcrest last time, I moved onto my next cat sit, less than three miles away in South Park. But I did not escape my moving-day rain curse, despite a completely sunny forecast. When I got on my bike to make the move, within a few short blocks, some clouds rolled in and the temperature dropped.
Within a few more blocks, it was a downpour! (I repeat: the day’s forecast was for bright sunshine, with no clouds or rain.) I took shelter under the eaves of a Mexican restaurant, then ventured out again when it lightened up, then ducked into a parking garage when it started pelting again.
Eventually I made it to the home of my next adorable charges, who had awaited me patiently.
That was a short sit—just three days—and thankfully, it was sunny the day I moved out. Unfortunately, though, I was not able to find a place to stay with a cat sit nor a local host, so I ended up shelling out a couple hundred for a hotel for two nights. (I did use my new AARP hotel discount!) The “vacation” from responsibilities was nice, although the hotel was within about half a mile—if that—of the runway at the San Diego International Airport, so there were loud planes flying directly overhead most of the time.
I used the “downtime” opportunity of that middle free day to go out to Ocean Beach, which is a neighborhood I always enjoy, but hadn’t been able to find a sit this time. It’s rather out of the way from the parts of town I usually prefer to stay, near Balboa Park, so without a car it takes some time to get there. I strategically chose the hotel’s location to be about equidistant from both neighborhoods, and I biked over to OB that day. I got to visit my beloved vegan fast-food restaurant Plant Power, and also the Ocean Beach People’s Food Co-op, San Diego’s only cooperative grocery. (And right outside, a Little Free Library, complete with one of my favorite childhood Richard Scarry books!)
Once again, the forecast had called for sun, so I hadn’t brought a raincoat. Before you know it, though, the clouds started rolling in, and my friend Michele in Escondido texted me that they were having a downpour, complete with thunderstorm(!) up there, about 30 miles north.
I decided to head back to the hotel. The bike ride back was lovely, except for two things: 1) I was racing the rain (and nearly made it, though it started to drizzle by the time I got back to the hotel) and 2) a piece of my rear fender fell off while I was riding!
I was able to recover some of the part from the bike lane in the street, but I later realized there were a couple more parts I will need to get it repaired. The bike is still functional without this part, but it is now clunky and awkward to fold and carry it.
Sadly, there is only one certified Brompton shop in San Diego, and it’s on the island of Coronado, which is not convenient to get to. When I called the shop, they said they would need to keep the bike overnight to make the repair, which just would not have been feasible for me. I called an LA Brompton-certified shop near Union Station, and the mechanic I spoke with said they have those parts in stock, and can do the repair while I wait. So I’ll hold off until I get up there.
Biking along the harbor on the way back was probably the highlight of the day. The bike path offers a view of the downtown skyline, and with the clouds it was especially striking.
That evening in the hotel, I had my magical meeting with Ellen’s friend Hope, whom I had mentioned in my last post. Hope is indeed a magical young woman, currently in Illinois but soon traveling to Germany for a Workaway experience. I’m excited for her!
After the two nights in the hotel, I loaded my rig onto an express bus from the nearby Santa Fe train station up to Escondido, where Michele very generously rescued me from homelessness in her house for the next four nights.
On my way to her place, I stopped by Grape Day Park, which I always enjoy for its vintage railcar.
We went on a few excursions with her coonhound Dawa, and one day Michele took me to a hidden gem: Queen Califia’s Magical Circle! It is indeed a magical place—especially fun for kids, who could get lost in the mirror-mosaic-walled maze—designed by a French woman artist, the late Niki de Saint Phalle.
The next day, we went for a walk with a dog-walking client of Michele’s, Hunter, during which we saw some beautiful green hills (the rain undoubtedly helped!) and some beautiful snails. I’ve been surprised to see a lot of snails in this area.
The following day, I got to meet up with Trina and Phil, just about a mile up the road from Michele. These were the two whose cat, Lily, was the one to bring me down to SoCal in the first place, for a sit in February.
After that, my friend Tamara, who lives just north in Temecula, drove down to meet me and took me on a nice hike at nearby Dixon Lake. It was cool to catch up in person; we hadn’t seen each other since she moved away from Portland a few years ago.
Finally, about a week ago, I boarded another bus (in the rain, again!) to get back to San Diego—Pacific Beach, this time—to care for my new cuties, Moppet and Mittens. (I love the Beatrix Potter reference!) Mittens has been quite shy, but Moppet has made up for it with her snuggles.
And to top it off, the back yard contains an amazing orange tree that is now in season. It has been dropping about an orange a day for me, which I have thoroughly relished at breakfast time. (There are also a few strawberries just now ripening!)
I’ll definitely be sad to leave this city. I’m so glad I’ve been able to spend almost two months here this time, and I’m looking forward to my next stay here!
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