Fellow culture shifters:

Do you have an awkward email sitting in your inbox right now? Something—either personal or professional—that you know you “should” respond to, but you’re scared to do it, because you want your words to come across the way you intend, and for the other person to respond in a way that feels good to you… but you fear that instead, you’ll accidentally say the wrong thing, or the person will take it the wrong way, and then the relationship will be strained (or, more strained than it already was?)

One way I love to support people is to use my knowledge and practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) tools to help write emails that will be received in the best possible way. I’m happy to collaborate with you in a real-time session, listening to some relationship backstory and then co-drafting the email with you. Alternatively, we can do a back-and-forth email exchange to craft it and polish the message before you send it. Or, perhaps you’d just like to vent, and/or think out loud, to an empathetic third party before writing the email yourself. That’s always an option too!

If this speaks to you right now, feel free to schedule a session. In any case, I wish you clear and effective communication, this holiday season and into the new year!

Could you use a cathartic rant right about now? (I think most of us could.)

I am offering something new in my Happy to Listen practice, and I will be debuting it this coming Wednesday, November 30th: A 20-minute “rant call” for $20. You call me, I pick up, you spill whatever is on your mind for 15-20 minutes, I listen with empathic presence, and then we wrap it up… and you feel better and more energized to handle your life (and quite possibly do more effective activism, whatever that might look like for you.)

I’m currently scheduling 20-minute slots throughout Wednesday the 30th, so send me a message if you’d like to partake! Also, feel free to share this with friends who might be in need of some catharsis, in this particularly fraught moment in time.

Wow, are we living in tumultuous times.  The US presidential election is upon us, and the political season feels more frenzied and dark than I can ever recall, with most Americans (not to mention others around the globe) feeling some combination of outrage and despair.

Meanwhile—and entangled with the election—racial tensions continue to escalate.  In my last blog post, I was focused on #blacklivesmatter, and I offered a Happy to Listen benefit for the month of August.  Now we’re coming up on November, and as Thanksgiving approaches here in the US, native people are fighting for their land and water in North Dakota.  I feel this juxtaposition keenly, and I’m feeling called to do another benefit, this time for both Happy to Listen (empathy and sacred witnessing) and Dream Into Change (life coaching for culture shifters).

If you would like to talk openly about your feelings in the midst of this political and cultural turmoil—or if you have ideas for culture-shifting projects to move beyond this current state of affairs, and would like emotional and/or strategic support in turning them into reality—I invite you to participate.

For the month of November, if you mention this benefit when scheduling a Happy to Listen or Dream Into Change session, I will donate 50% of the proceeds from your session(s) to www.gofundme.com/stand4standingrock.  (Sliding scale available if finances are a barrier; I want everyone to be able to participate in this benefit if they wish to.)  I deeply admire those people who have chosen to put themselves physically on the line to protect native people’s land and water, against corporate fossil-fuel interests.  Since I am not physically standing with them, I want to support these folks financially, and I invite you to join me, either by participating in this benefit and/or by donating directly.  To schedule a session, you may email me at maren@dreamintochange.com or call me at 971-303-8395.

In any case, I wish you all the best during these times, and I hope you will join me in continuing to hold a vision—and to take actions toward that vision—of a world with justice and integrity for all people and our land and natural resources.

I don’t need to tell you that we are living in fraught and stressful times. In the USA, we are facing a Presidential election that promises to be bitter and disappointing for most Americans. The nation is focusing on huge issues of environmental sustainability, economic (in)equalities, health care, and other pressing topics.

One of the most prominent topics, both inside and outside of the Presidential campaigns, is that of race. Recent highly publicized police killings of unarmed black citizens have brought the topic to greater public attention and scrutiny than we have seen in a long time. Trump’s public comments about Mexicans and Muslims have brought these groups—and bias against them—into the public consciousness in a stark way. The Black Lives Matter movement has emerged and brought an intentional focus on the lack of police accountability for violence against black people.

The current state of affairs is tragic. And regardless of one’s own racial or ethnic background, these topics are emotionally charged.

I’ve been watching heart-wrenching videos and hearing political sound bites about race, and wondering what I, personally, might be able to do to bring something positive to the situation. I know that recognizing my own privilege as a white person is an important first step. Listening to the voices of people of color, and hearing their stories and pain and anger, is another way. Speaking out when I hear people making racist or prejudiced remarks is another way.

At this moment I am also feeling called, though, to use my listening and empathy skills in a particular way. I started my Happy to Listen practice nearly ten years ago, because I wanted to help people to process some of the difficult feelings that come up simply as a result of being human in today’s world. I have found doing so to be very gratifying. But I agree with Gloria Steinem’s assertion that the personal is political… and also with the corollary, which is that political, social, and cultural current events affect us all personally. And I want to use my listening skills to help people to process and work through whatever difficult feelings they may have regarding race at this moment in history. I also know that many people are wondering what they can do to help the situation in their own lives, and I want to hold space for people to explore any ideas they might have in that regard.

So, for the month of August, I am choosing to offer Happy to Listen sessions by sliding-scale donation. I will then donate all proceeds from such sessions to the William Winter Institute for Racial Reconciliation. I found their website on Facebook a few months ago, and their communication-based approach to racial justice, equity, and harmony resonates with me.

I am hoping that people of any racial or ethnic background will feel comfortable talking about their feelings and challenges around the topic of race. As always, I promise to listen with an open heart and without judgment, seeking only to hold space and provide a sounding board, as well as to learn, myself, how people experience racial issues in their individual lives. I hope to offer some small help in this way.

If you’d like to make an appointment, feel free to contact me at www.happytolisten.com.

Hello, all! Just a quick note today: I’m thrilled and honored to have a piece of my writing featured as “Today’s Brilliance” on the website InspireMeToday.com. This daily feature showcases “everyday” writers as well as some celebrities, such as Richard Branson and Mariel Hemingway, so I’m excited to have been chosen. My 500-word inspirational piece is titled “Trust the Open Space,” and it will be on the website’s home page today, Monday, August 17. It’s about allowing the beauty of life to unfold in spaciousness, rather than cramming our lives full and thus missing out on magic. I invite you to take a look!

On Thursday, July 30^th, I hosted the inaugural Dream Into Change Salon, and now I’m really excited to host more of them, both here and elsewhere.

The salon—a free event—is a place for us culture shifters to come together and talk about our ideas for projects, businesses, campaigns, and the like, and to give and receive emotional and strategic support for these ideas.

On the 30^th, we started with a small event: just four of us gathered around a table at Liz’s Creative Café in Milwaukie, just south of Portland. We spoke briefly about our personal and/or professional histories, and then for the next two hours we discussed the ideas and projects we are all working on. The magic of synergy appeared right away, as people began collaborating, offering ideas, asking strategic questions, and connecting each other with resources. By the end, we were all excited to keep in touch, and to meet up at the next one.

I will schedule another salon at the same location near the end of September; I plan to offer them here in the Portland area every two months.

But afterward, I got to thinking that I would love to take this idea on the road as well! I would love to host similar salons for culture shifters in many cities, around North America, and quite possibly beyond. Perhaps I could dream up a tour, similar to my 2013 East Coast Empathy Tour! I could travel by train and/or bike for a couple of weeks, stopping at several cities as I go.

Then I started thinking, I could even create themed salons! Say, one for veganism and animal-related ideas and projects. One for touch- and/or sex-positive-themed ideas. Maybe one for bicycling and sustainable transportation. One for NVC and/or restorative-justice-themed ideas.

In this way, I can encourage people to start thinking about, and working on, exciting specific ideas for shifting our culture forward in myriad ways. And I can begin to build a worldwide network of such folks, whom I can introduce to each other if, say, someone in Boston and someone in Melbourne had similar ideas and wanted to support each other and build on each other’s success.

I’m pretty lit up about this!! I don’t have a particular timeline in mind; I will let it unfold organically (per my previous posting here).

However, I would love to hear from anyone, anywhere, who would be interested in helping me to organize a salon—with or without a specific theme—wherever you live. I can begin putting together a list of such contacts, and perhaps before long, an itinerary will emerge.

For now… I will begin organizing some more salons here in Portland!

Do you struggle sometimes? I’m guessing you do. I struggle sometimes. I struggle with life in general (existential ponderings have always been a part of my daily life) and also with this Dream Into Change Practice. (When is it going to “take off?” What exactly is it, in elevator-pitch format? Shouldn’t I be farther along on my path to self-employment and right livelihood?)

Does any of this sound familiar? I think a lot of it is basic human stuff, and some of it is First-world-smart-creative-young-or-middle-aged career angst in 2015. Part of what Dream Into Change means to me is that I support others along their paths. Part of that support is my sharing my own struggles and vulnerability… as well as celebrations and, sometimes, hard-won insights.

Where I’m at right now, which I would like to share in a spirit of camaraderie and uplift, is that sometimes I struggle with “productivity.” There are many things I think I “should” be doing to build this practice. I should go to more networking events. I should be working harder to write my book faster. I should be working on putting together more workshops, and digital products.

I’m doing some of this stuff. And I feel excited about it… most days, at least.

But I still get down on myself for falling into these early twenty-first-century traps we are all susceptible to, like excessive screen time, not exercising as much as I “should” be, not eating or sleeping as well as I “should” be, and not working as hard as I “should” be.

Right now, though? I’m accepting things—and myself—as they are. As I am. My life is pretty freaking amazing, all things considered, and why do I need to be in a big rush? I really believe in savoring the journey. So… this summer, I’m doing that. Especially in a Portland summertime, savoring is essential for our wellbeing. We wait all year for this languid, warm weather. When I go to networking events, I sometimes run into people who seem hard on themselves for not doing enough. When I observe this in them, I can see that I don’t want it for myself, even though my mind and heart frequently fall prey to it.

So, what I’m focusing on right now is opening a warm, joyful space for magic to show up for me.

I’m sleeping late when I can. I’m eating delicious food. (Yeah, probably more of it than is optimal for my body. I’m accepting that imperfection in myself… most of the time. Did you know, for example, that Portland just welcomed its first all-vegan cheese shop? How can I not go and support that wonderful new business?) I’m taking time to go to the beach. I’m taking time to eat the fruit that dangles from all the trees and vines these days. I’m making time for delicious sensuality with lovers. I’m taking time to cultivate and nourish my primary relationship with my amazing partner, who is doing beautiful things in his own life that I am honored to support. I’m checking out books from the library. I’m listening to gorgeous music.

I’m also keeping my day job as long as I need it, which affords me the stability to do much of the above. I needn’t judge the fact that I have had it for twelve years.

And… by nourishing myself in all of the above ways, I find that I do have the energy to respond to wonderful opportunities when they arrive. For example, I took a chance just last week to submit a piece of writing to a website called Inspire Me Today. While bicycling home from work that day, I began to compose the 500-word submission, pulling over to the curb on three occasions to jot down key phrases. I sent in the piece, titled Trust the Open Space. I received an auto-reply, which let me know that they had received it, that the process was competitive, and that they would let me know within two to three weeks whether my piece would be published. The next day, however, I received an acceptance email: the site will publish my writing on August 17^th!

Had I been pushing myself hard with long to-do lists every day—and collapsing into bed, exhausted and disappointed for having completed less than 100% of them, which has often been my M.O.—I doubt I would have had the energy to make the submission.

So… it’s summer. I’m enjoying myself. And I’m still making progress, at a pace that feels satisfying, if slower than what I have sometimes wished for.

I hope you are finding the right pace for yourself in your own path, for this season and beyond. I’d love to hear any stories that relate to this topic, so please feel free to comment.