Interviews

Your website describes you as a Parrot Behavior and Care Consultant. I know that in addition to working directly with clients, you also write articles about parrot care, and travel around the United States and even abroad to lecture on the topic. When, and how, did you get started with all of this? How has it unfolded?

I have always had a deep love for the natural world and all living things.  When I was 19 years old, I walked into a pet store and came face to face with an African Grey parrot.  He met my eyes with a look that communicated intensity and incredible intelligence.  It was a profoundly personal moment and I resolved then and there that someday I would live with a parrot like that.

When I reached my early 40’s and my children were almost grown, I decided that it was time for this dream to come true.  I had never forgotten that parrot and began a search to adopt one of that same species.  Unfortunately, the young parrots I met were hesitant, slightly fearful and reluctant to interact with me.  Instinctively, I knew that this was unnatural and that I did not want to begin a relationship with a parrot who might live for 50 years and had already learned a distrust of humans.

I decided to learn all I could about breeding parrots and to produce my own.  Looking back, this seems the height of arrogance, but something told me that I could do a better job.  I acquired five pairs of African Greys and did have great success breeding them.  I encounter people today who have met the birds I reared and who tell me that they are unlike any other greys that they have met.

I did produce a grey parrot for myself, and acquired others along the way as well.  As I lived with these birds, my understanding and knowledge about their care and behavior grew.  I began to participate on some Internet discussion lists.  Slowly, the realization grew that I somehow understand things about birds that others don’t.  This still mystifies me, but I have come to accept it.  What seems obvious to me about parrots is not at all obvious to others.  As I participated on these lists, people began to come to me for help.

After a few years of helping other caregivers at no charge, I was so busy that I had to make the decision to charge for my consulting services.  That was about 15 years ago, and my business has only grown since then.  Along the way, different publications asked me to write for them.  This was a good fit, since one of my college majors was journalism.  As I published articles, I began to be invited to speak around the country at different conferences.  I still am surprised at the fact that a career has resulted from a simple love of feathers and the brain behind them.

What fears did you have to overcome to get where you are today? How did you overcome them?

I don’t think that my insides are any different from anyone else’s.  I have always been afraid of others’ judgments.  I fear that someone will disagree with me publicly.  I fear that I will publish something that will be wrong and that I will be embarrassed.  I fear that I don’t really have anything important to say.  These concerns haven’t diminished at all with time.  I think that such fears stem from the ego, which always has an element of insecurity.  I get past these fears by remembering that feelings aren’t facts.  I make a concerted effort to remember the positive feedback I get.  It’s easy to remember the criticisms and the hurts.  It takes a lot more effort to remember the positive things that people say.  I often print out positive feedback from people and place these where I can read them every day.  This helps me to have a more balanced perspective of my worth and to continue to remember that I DO have something important to say.

What other obstacles, besides fear, have you had to overcome? How did you get past them?

I have encountered a number of obstacles, the first of which was my own way of thinking.  I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional and abusive home.  Therefore, I learned a lot of behavior patterns that would have sabotaged any efforts I might have made to be successful.  Once out of there, I had to do a lot of personal work to learn healthier ways of thinking and being.  I have now learned to maintain a balance in my work life and my personal life, and more importantly…in my thoughts.  As balance became more of a way of life, I was able to then come to believe in my own worth.

Second, as I began my consulting career in earnest in California, my husband confronted me with a choice.  He wanted me to give up the majority of my parrots and to get a full-time job.  He would not compromise.  Therefore, I made the decision to leave.  While I did not want to break up my marriage, I could not continue to live with a partner who would demand that I give up the birds I loved so passionately and my dream of self-employment.  I moved to Oregon with my parrots and continued to pursue my consulting, while obtaining a part-time job.

The third obstacle after separating from my husband and moving to Oregon, of course, was financial in nature.  The consulting practice was a first priority, but I also had to find a day to eat regularly and to continue living indoors.  This required compromise.  So, I sought a way to make some income that would be more regular and dependable than the consulting income, but that would still allow me enough time for my own business.  I got lucky and found employment as a veterinary technician for an avian vet.  This allowed me to also learn more about parrots and their health, so ultimately furthered my consulting career also.

I had never worked as a technician before and the training was extremely demanding.  However, after four years of working on the job, I was able to take the national boards and to become licensed.  Now, I am able to work 2.5 days a week as a technician and to pursue my own consulting practice the other four.

Another challenge that I continue to have today is my disinclination to promote myself. Somehow I find it distasteful to engage in self-promotion.  It makes me uncomfortable.  I think this has to do with two personality traits. First, I don’t like to attract attention to myself.  Second, it seems somehow too prideful or conceited.  How’s that for an archaic term?  However, I have realized not only the need for this, but the fact that this trait does not serve me well at all.  I am working on this always by disciplining myself to look for and take advantages of occasions when it is appropriate to promote myself.

The last significant challenge has been to establish and keep to a daily discipline.  I hate writing, finding it very difficult.  However, publishing raises my visibility and creates my reputation.  Therefore, I’ve simply set a goal that I will write a minimum of 1000 words a day – no excuses.

What has been most rewarding to you so far?

I would have to say that it’s the ability to help captive parrots.  Taking a bird, a flighted spirit, out of the wild to clip its wings and to keep it in a cage was the worst idea any human has ever had.  It breaks my heart that it ever happened.  Equally heart-breaking is the fact that so many people acquire parrots without adequate research, totally unprepared for the demands of the relationship, and then discard these long-lived creatures when problems occur.  These birds live without ever having experienced the joy of flying or foraging or interacting with other parrots.  I work hard to educate caregivers so that the true needs of parrots are recognized and that, hopefully, the standard of care will be better in the future than it is now.

Also rewarding is the ability to use the experiences that people have with their parrots to make them more psychologically visible.  Parrots are unique, in that they are both intelligent and highly social, and they can teach us a lot about ourselves. A client of mine wrote to me the other day: “You have a gift for telling people what they need to hear and softening it with encouraging words.”  I enjoy helping people to better understand both themselves and their parrots and to help them to continue in that relationship.  Most people who come to me for help are on the verge of giving those parrots up.  I am able to help them resolve the problems, so that the parrot gets to keep his home, his quality of life is better, and the human becomes a little wiser.

Further, through my writing, I can help people to relate to their parrots with more compassion, to appreciate them more completely, and by extension to want to preserve parrots in the wild and the habitats in which they live.  I once wrote the following in an article:  “Parrots are only recently out of the wild.  Essentially, we have in our hands the interface between the wild and man in civilization.  What we allow ourselves to learn from them could have far-reaching implications. Sometimes I allow myself to wonder if they could conceivably have the power, by virtue of their place with us in space and time and their great beauty and intelligence, to finally convince man of the need to preserve what is natural and most precious.  They can touch us where we live.”  I still work to that end.

What is, or has been, the hardest part for you?

The hardest part, by far, is encountering people who will not take any responsibility for the fact that their parrot is exhibiting behavior problems.  They blame the parrot.  This lack of compassion…this inability to see the bird as he is, a captive spirit unable to express himself through flight because this has been taken from him…is the most painful.  Not only do I feel exquisite pain for the parrot having this experience, but it makes me despair for the fate of the natural world.  How can anyone take a creature this magnificent, disregard its needs, and then cast it away when it fails to meet expectations as a “pet.”

Also difficult has been the competitiveness, the discord, and the “politics” that exist among professionals in this “parrot world.”  The child in me finds this all very scary.  However, I’ve concluded that the only reasonable course of action is to speak my truth quietly and clearly, to ignore discord, to stay on good terms with all people as far as possible without surrender, and to focus on the positive.

What has been most surprising to you about it?

The most surprising thing about all this continues to be the fact that I’m successful, in spite of being terrible with self-promotion.  This year, I was invited to speak in Brisbane to the Parrot Society of Australia.  I’ve been invited back in 2013.  And, it continues to surprise me that, somehow, I understand things about parrots that others don’t.  I can’t explain that, but have just learned to believe it.

Without needing to share any specifics, of course, how are you feeling about the financial end of things? Are you able to support yourself doing this work that you are passionate about?

I am able to meet approximately half of my expenses through my consulting practice at this point.  I still need to work as a veterinary technician for now, especially because requests for consultations tend to go way down during the holidays as people’s priorities shift.  However, with each year, my visibility grows, I get more referrals and do more consults, and am invited to more speaking engagements.  I anticipate that, by 2018, I will be able to fully support myself solely through the consulting.

What are your next challenges or goals?

My first and ongoing goal is to become savvier, with regards to using social media to promote my business.  I am struggling to become more knowledgeable about search engine visibility and am learning how to get more traffic directed to my website.  My second goal is to become more consistent about publishing my blog and to increase the number of subscribers I have.  Third, this year I will be offering webinars on different parrot-related topics, along with a friend of mine.  And fourth, I have been investigating publishing options and have decided to publish an e-book on a common parrot problem, feather destructive behavior.  I see the latter as one of the very best ways to increase my income in the future.  There are a number of great books available that help with that process.

Any words of wisdom or parting thoughts to readers who want to follow their dreams?

Finding a dream and then following that requires that we each “wear our hearts on our sleeves.”  That means that we always say what’s true for us, regardless of the reaction of others.  We are each unique and have gifts that the world needs.  However, to offer those up to the scrutiny of others takes courage.  We will never find our true niche in the world if we employ any artificiality.  We must be truly authentic each day and trust that this practice will lead us to where we need to be.

Second, being true to a dream means constantly reassessing and recommitting to the highest priority – that dream.  Life is so busy and there are so many distractions for us all on any given day.  I must constantly ask myself questions like, “Do I want to have lunch with my friend, or do I want to write that 1000 words?”  If I can’t do both, I’ve got to opt for that 1000 words and then find another day to go to lunch.

Your business card says “Global Volunteer.” When did you decide on this job title and life path? What was the spark?

I had been looking after my father for over 2 years. He was in a good place and it was time for me to begin a new life. I wanted to travel more, but no longer wanted to travel as a tourist. My travel had to have meaning in it. I considered teaching English and traveling, or finding a job that involved travel, but neither of those options appealed to me. Having been a small business consultant for 10 years, I thought about consulting and traveling. But a consultant needs time to establish credibility, and time is what a traveler does not have.   And then I realized that I had just enough money in savings that if some organization would give me a place to pitch my tent, or a roof over my head, that I could afford to just travel and volunteer.  I could indulge myself in helping people with no thought of charging for my services. I could help animals. I could work in organic gardens and farms. I could do marketing and communications for small nonprofits who didn’t have the skills to do these things on their own, or funds to hire someone to do it for them. I could go to a monastery and serve the holy people who live there, and maybe some of their peace would make its way to me.  A wonderful new world opened up to me, and I was energized to my core just thinking about it. Once I decided to do this, it took about 6 months to finish my teaching commitments and sell the apartment building I had been renovating, and then I was off.

What has this path looked like so far? What are some of your favorite places you have traveled and things you have done?

Some of the favorite places I have traveled – places I would happily return and volunteer work I would do all over again, include:

Helping to create Couchsurfing at the Nelson New Zealand Couchsurfing Collective in 2007. Living collectively with twenty young people met my needs for challenge, growth, community, partnership, connection, and contribution to the well-being of others.  I became a vegetarian during this time, and discovered NVC and Free Hugs because of the Couchsurfing collective.

Bicycling through France for 3 months in 2011, guerrilla gardening and picking up trash along the roads all summer, on my own.  I connected deeply with myself and my reasons for living a life of service. I also made dear friends and improved my French, meeting my needs for autonomy, beauty, mental and physical challenge, contributing to the well-being of others,  exercise, growth, and connection.

Taking care of the composting toilets and recycling and trash for the NVC Family camp on Vashon Island this summer.  I have never felt such unconditional acceptance as during these two weeks.  I can understand why people return again and again.  It was hard physical work, but I was encouraged (and took time for) self-care, daily empathy sessions, and a good night’s sleep. This experience met my needs for inspiration, community, care, love, acceptance, challenge, growth, connection, and exercise, as well as contributing to the well-being of others.

What fears did you have to overcome to get where you are today, walking this particular path? How did you overcome them?

I had to overcome the fear of getting ill, and having nowhere to go.  Because I left the US in 1996, my ties with my family and friends here weakened, and I did not stay in one place long enough to form deep connections in New Zealand. So by the time I decided to become a nomad, there was no one I knew who would joyfully care for me if I became ill. That was scary for me.  I had a deep unmet need to be cared for early in my nomadic volunteering life.   As the years have passed and I have remained healthy, and made friends who have offered me a place to stay if I ever needed it, this fear has departed. My trust in the universe has also increased greatly, and I know I would be cared for willingly, even by strangers, if I became ill.

I have had a fear of being attacked while alone on the road in 2008, and also while being alone in Kashmir, India during great unrest in the fall of 2010.  I looked long and hard at my options during these times, and decided that my best course of action was to befriend my attackers. So that is now my strategy if I am ever in danger of attack.  Knowing I have a clear strategy gives me peace and I can remain calm in situations others might find unnerving.

There is one other fear I have, and have not overcome. This is the fear of being tortured.  It is the only thing that I fear in life. I do not fear being penniless, homeless, friendless, reviled, ancient, ugly, cancer, mental or physical disability, death or sickness,  pain, violence against me, nor accidents.  I know it is highly unlikely that I would be tortured, but having resolved my other fears, this is the only one which remains for me.

Besides fears, what other obstacles have you had to overcome? How did you get past them?

I have a heart murmur, and have had it since birth. This is an obstacle to me because I cannot do aerobic activities without quickly running out of breath: running, jumping, cycling up hill, strenuous dancing, fast walking, etc.  But I get around by bicycling, and carry all my possessions on my bike, over mountains, including the Swiss Alps in 2001 and the French Pyrenees, as recently as last year.  I have learned to never stand up on my bike to get up a hill, to pull off the road at the nearest driveway and catch my breath when climbing a steep hill, and to make sure my bicycle has a really low gearing on it.

When I committed to volunteer in Kashmir for a year for the Hope Disability Centre, one of the many obstacles during that time was living and working in the Himalaya mountains with no heat during winter. No heat at work, no heat at home.  All winter.  Other people had heat – they carried wicker baskets with live coals in them under their cloaks. And they slept together with other family members at night.   I decided to get by without using the wicker basket strategy, as it seemed dangerous for me.  So during the day at work, I bundled up with all my thermal layers, cloak, and fingerless gloves.  At night I sometimes wore all my clothes and even my cloak to bed. It was the two hot water bottles, one at my feet, and one hugged to my chest, that kept me warm at night.  I learned to wash only half of me at time, on the few occasions when I chose to wash myself. If you never sweat, and are constantly covered in layers of clothes, there is little body odor generated.

Speaking Kashmiri was an obstacle, and there were no Kashmiri dictionaries available anywhere. So I created my own dictionary word by word, from asking the few Kashmiris I knew who spoke English.  My efforts were warmly received, as were my reading of the Koran, participating in the Ramadan fasting, and learning to pray as a Muslim.

What is most rewarding to you so far?

Learning how to live out of memnoon energy – only doing things for others that bring me joy to do them. Never acting out of obligation or duty.

Living to give what I can give, rather than living to get what I can get.

Learning Vipassana meditation, Nonviolent Communication, Emotional Freedom Technique, and sharing these with others.

Giving away solar powered flashlights to people living on the streets of Portland

Buying nut trees for villages in Nepal, and other communities around the world.

What is, or has been, the hardest part for you?

The hardest part for me has been when my sisters and closest friends do not read my monthly blog, after I send them an e-mail with an update on my life.  It is then that I know how important it is to love yourself, and care for yourself, and trust yourself, and enjoy yourself and support yourself. Because no one cares about you like you do. No one.

What has been most surprising to you about it?

I am surprised at the amount of fear in people that keeps them stuck. That keeps them from reaching for their dreams, from changing those things in their life that continually trigger pain of many kinds.  They cannot understand my lack of fear, and I cannot understand their huge need for safety.

Without needing to share any specifics, of course, how are you feeling about the financial end of things? Do you feel comfortable, abundant? Are you hoping to feel more comfortable or abundant as time goes on, or are you exactly where you would like to be in that regard?

This year, living in a house with 11 others, and having as my bedroom a 3ft by 7ft closet, or a corner of the unfinished attic, I have felt wealthier than I have ever felt before, even when I was making a 6 figure income and had stock options, etc etc.   This has been a most interesting development.   I have reduced my expenses by trading one day a week cleaning/gardening for my sleeping space. I have further reduced my expenses by occasionally eating with Food Not Bombs, by growing a garden, by volunteering at the Alberta Food Co-Op and visiting their free food boxes when I volunteer, and by eating very simple food.  I further reduce expenses by riding my borrowed bicycle wherever I need to go. No bus or metro or car rental costs.  My clothes come mostly from the generous Portlanders who share their wealth in the many free piles on the streets.  Because of all of this, I have more disposable income than I have ever had before. I feel not a twinge at giving $20 to someone on the street, or $75 to a friend who had his backpack stolen. I feel wealthy enough to put a friend in Kashmir through his last year getting his master’s degree so he can help people with disabilities in India.  I regularly buy books and nut trees for others – friends and strangers alike.  When I was working, and making all that money, when an opportunity to help in these and other ways might have been presented to me, I felt constrained!  Constrained because I had a mortgage, house renovations, car repairs or replacements, vacation plans, Christmas, retirement savings, birthdays, wedding gifts to buy, all these things crowded into my head, until I felt I could not give in the moment. I would have to think about it, check the budget, confer with my husband.  Now I am coming to understand, at least in part,  why the poor are often so generous. Their needs are so minimal. Their wants are never more than their needs, so they have extra to give to others, and they trust that others will give to them in turn.  I am reminded of stories I have read of people who lived very simply, yet donated year after year huge amounts of money to charity, and were very very happy.  I always wondered how they did it. I think I know now, and it has been a wonderful life lesson for me.

As time goes on, and I enter more and more into the spirit of the gift, I look forward to converting my IRA into smiles of gratitude on the faces of many, many people. Talk about a return on investment!

What are your next challenges or adventures?

I have almost finished reading Charles Eisenstein’s book The Sacred Economy.  I am toying with the idea of living completely on a gift basis, and wondering how that would look.  Rather than arranging a work trade for a place to sleep, would it be possible to do such things on a purely gift basis? Would there be someone out there who would give me the gift of a place to lay my head for more than a night or two, without asking for anything in return?  I know I would shower them with gifts of many kinds, but they probably wouldn’t know that about me.  I am heading to New Zealand soon, and perhaps this will be part of the adventure of 2013 – living wholly in the gift economy. Why not? Someone needs to get the ball rolling!

Any words of wisdom or parting thoughts to readers who want to follow their dreams?

I would ask people to deeply look at their fears. Sit with them, do not run away from contemplating them. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen, and then look at that, and decide what you would do to recover from it. Plan for the worst, and you no longer have to worry about it. After you have done that, you can go out and act in confidence, knowing that if the worst happens, you can deal with it.  In short; plan for the worst, and expect the best.

Because I cannot carry more than one or two books with me, I write down the best parts of the books I read, before passing them on. Here are some words of wisdom I have collected from others for people who want to follow their dreams:

Today we are asked to consider the power we have to write the story of the lives we want to experience. With the new dawn, finding ourselves unbounded by yesterday’s ideas, rules, habits and conditions, we find a fresh sheet upon which to record the intentions and desires of our souls … What served us in the past may need to be released for our future journey. We might be required to give up attachment to a certain outcome that keeps us tied to a narrow view of possibilities. For some, the new story today may involve taking power back from someone or something that we have allowed to dictate our choices. Others of us may need to flush out old, limiting ideas that keep us playing small. Some may have to give up self-talk that would have us convinced that we’re not good enough to live the lives of our dreams. – Diane Harmony, Jan 08 Science of Mind

Are you in earnest?  Then seize this very minute.  What you can do, or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power and magic in it; only engage then the mind grows heated; begin, and then the work will be completed.  – Goethe